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Yoda’s scratching at the glass got my attention. I headed over, pulled back my sheer curtains and the utilitarian vertical blinds, then cracked the sliding door open enough for him to run out. I made a mental note to check into getting some sort of tie-out contraption for him as to not disturb He-Who-Hates-Animals any longer. “Irresponsible pet owner,” I muttered to myself. The nerve of him. Yoda weighed five pounds, how much trouble could he really cause?
I glanced out the door to watch him sniff back and forth along the perimeter of my patio before I picked up my work laptop. Numbers. Facts. Accounting, dealing with invoices and payroll, that’s what I needed. Spreadsheets and organization were my Zen and I could focus on that instead of giving my mental energy to the sexy...no shit, not sexy. Not attractive. Damn him and his shirtless-ness and lack of compression shorts to keep certain things hidden and under control. The warmth I’d wanted to attribute to the heat outside once again spread through me and tried to settle between my legs.
I shook my head and hands to get the wonky thoughts and feelings out then lifted the lid of my computer. I blinked once, then twice as I stared at the blank blue screen. The white letters mocked me: Reset to factory default with a blinking Y and N. “No. No. No. No.”
I pressed the escape button repeatedly. This was not happening. Not the blue screen of death. It was fine yesterday. Everything was fine yesterday and now restore? Bet it was that stupid fucking update I couldn’t bypass. I pressed the power button to do a hard shut down. As I waited for it to reboot, I sent silent prayers to the computer gods that it would work. No such luck.
“Shit. Shit. And triple shit!”
4
Emilio
“Fuck, fuckity, fuck!”
I glanced over at the barrier between me and Ms. Potty Mouth then went back to flipping my burgers. Ren, however, seemed to have no concerns over his owner’s outburst. The tiny beast was too busy sniffing the air and looking at me like I was supposed to share.
More curses filtered out as I plated my burgers and turned off the gas on my grill. “Don’t get involved. Don’t get involved,” I mumbled to myself.
After a long drawn out “shit,” I sighed and headed into the house to set down the plate. “What the fuck, Ren, you don’t live here.” He’d trotted his tiny ass in behind me like he owned the place, ignoring the fact I tried to gently shoo him back outside with my foot. She seriously needed to leash him.
With the runaway animal in hand, I took a deep breath before walking back outside and around the divider fence. Her glass door was opened slightly, presumably so her wayward pet could come and go as he pleased. She paced her living room, phone to her ear. Her face was red and blotchy. The patchy coloring spread down her neck and across her chest. Whatever it was had majorly annoyed her. I chuckled quietly; at least it wasn’t me this time.
I probably shouldn’t have been checking her out, but maddening or not, she still garnered a second look or two. She’d changed since our encounter in her garage. Ma was a voluptuous woman, I couldn’t deny her that. Wide hips, and thick legs and curves for days. The shorts she wore accentuated all her best assets. Yeah, if she didn’t give off a strong f-off vibe, I’d be down for the hook-up. Though, not sure if getting caught up with the female that lived right next door was a wise move. Especially with one who acted like she could barely stand the sight of me. But if the opportunity ever presented itself…
I put Ren down and he scurried inside. Ma turned and her eyes widened when she saw me standing outside her door. She rolled her eyes, I threw up a hand ready to walk off when she headed toward me, putting her finger up indicating I should wait. For what, I had no damn idea, but wait I did. From the way she moved, I could tell she didn’t wear a bra beneath her purple T-shirt that had “I,” a red heart, and the Pi symbol underneath it.
Another “fuck” before she ended her call and launched the device across the room onto her couch. A wave of cool air hit me when she opened the sliding glass wider.
“Look, sorry he was on your side again. I was watching him until my computer decided to implode.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and puffed out her cheeks on an exaggerated exhale. She glanced back up at me. “Did he…”
“Nah, it’s all good, Ma. Ren wanted a burger but I’m not sharing, so I brought him home.”
I knew calling the dog by the wrong name would get a reaction and I probably shouldn’t have pushed her buttons seeing as how she was already annoyed, but really, it was too easy.
“Look, I’m really not in the mood for your crappy jokes about my dog.”
“So I heard.” Part of me should have wished her well and walked off. The other part, the part where my Abuela would have knocked me upside my head and told me to stop being a pendejo had me extending a fucking olive branch. “I can help.”
She jerked her head to the side and crossed her arms under her breasts which pushed them up. Frown firmly in place and her eyes were wider than I thought humanly possible. “You can help what?”
“You said your computer imploded. I can help.”
She moved her hands down to her hips and tilted her chin with damn near a sneer playing on her lips. “No doubt you spend countless hours battlefield of dutyi
ng or whatever, but I hardly think that would make you qualified to offer me ‘help’.”
I laughed quietly and shook my head. She set that fucking branch aflame then danced on the ashes. Fine. If that’s how she wanted to play it.
“You know what, Ma, you’re right. My bad. Here I was thinking it might be my degree in Computer Science and my IT/computer repair business of three years.”
The haughtiness dissipated and her face paled. I nodded in her direction then turned and walked around the divider. She had to be the most frustrating female I’d ever encountered and that’s saying a shit ton considering my sisters and their friends who made ball-busting a fucking Olympic sport. Whatever, I was not going to let her pissy attitude ruin my night. Burgers, beer and soccer.
No sooner than I had gotten settled than did a knock come at my patio door. Ma stood with her computer in hand and hopefully ready to eat crow. I muted the TV, set my plate down, and picked up my beer on my way over to the slider. For half a second I thought about simply pulling the blinds closed in her face, but I could be the bigger person. Maybe.
I opened the door wide enough to lean against the frame, but not enough that it could be seen as an invitation to enter. I took a slow pull from the bottle before addressing her. “Yes?”
“Lana.”
