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“What does that mean?”
“They know who I am so I have to disappear.” A wall slid away and Jace wasn’t the stranger anymore. I saw the caring in his eyes again and I was warmed by that. Blinking back tears, he was still there in my heart.
I tried to grin, but knew it was shaky. “You really meant it when you wanted me to go away, didn’t you?”
He sighed. His hand fell from the doorknob. “If something went wrong, I didn’t want Galverson to use you against me. People knew I cared about you.”
“And Brian?”
He gave me a crooked grin. “You think Brian would’ve gone anywhere I told him?”
“Oh.” I laughed, but it was weak. “No. He would’ve done the opposite.” Jace reached for the door again. “Wait,” I stopped him. His hand went back to his side, and I asked, “Where’s he buried? Is he by your dad?”
“I’m having his body moved. I don’t want anyone to do anything to it, and these people, they’d do just about anything to get to me.” He frowned. “I’ll let you know where I have him moved.” He glanced at Chance. “Or someone will.”
He paused again, staring at me as I stared at him. This was it. This was really the end. “I’ll never see you again?”
“Unless something bad happens.” His grey eyes seemed haunted and he tried to give me a half-grin. “Let’s hope you never see me again.” He said to Tray, “Take care of her.”
“I plan to.”
Then he started to turn again. “Wait.” I flew at him. Slamming into his chest, I buried my head there, and he wrapped his arms around me at the same time. This was my last goodbye. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I knew I’d probably always care about him. He and Brian had been family when no one else had been. When I pulled back, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and gently flicked me on the cheek. He murmured, “We had some good times.”
My heart was heavy. “Goodbye, Jace.”
He nodded. He didn’t say it back, but that was okay. He dropped a kiss to my forehead and whispered back, “Love you, kid, even when you thought I hated you.”
Then he pulled away and left. I didn’t turn for Tray. I didn’t need to be comforted. I knew what was happening. That old chapter in my life just walked out the door. It was done. There were nothing left to be resolved.
“You okay?” Tray asked me, standing beside me.
I nodded. “Yeah.” I reached for his hand. I was okay. I would be okay. Hell, I would be more than okay. I was strong. I was a survivor. I felt ready to take on the world. Feeling that rush of adrenalin, I squeezed Tray’s hand.
He was my home now.
EPILOGUE
“Matthews, you’re diving in five minutes.” My coach patted my shoulder as he walked past me.
My teammate laughed next to me. “Way to give us a pep talk.” She swung her fist in the air, giving me the thumbs up sign. “That’s our coach for you.”
I laughed, but I couldn’t ignore the knots in me. My stomach was twisted up like a pretzel. We were in the semifinals at Columbia. My dive could seal a win for our team or finalize our loss. No pressure at
all.
We were standing against the wall as a diver soared into the water. It was a near perfect execution. My teammate swore beside me. “Goddamn.”
Her legs were off, but only a slight inch. I could beat her. I knew it.
Then the assistant coach waved me over. She patted my shoulder and murmured, “Did you see that?”
I nodded. I couldn’t talk.
She patted me again. “You can do this, Matthews. You’ve helped bring us this far.”
She was right. I told myself that as I started up the ladder. I was going all the way to the top. The crowd began to become smaller around me and I could see over everyone. This is when I paused, half way up, and scanned the crowd. People asked me why I did this, but I never told my secret. This was my thing to do. Every time, no matter what competition, I always looked through the crowd. It had been a year since Jace disappeared. I wanted to see if I could see him, and there was another slight hope that if I did, I would imagine Brian with him in spirit. It was dumb, but it was a small wish I had. I knew I could imagine Brian’s presence with me and at times, I felt him, but pretending he would be alongside Jace—that was a gift I wanted to see just once.
Like all the other competitions, I didn’t see him. Pushing forward, I got to the top and rolled my head around. I lifted my arms in a circling motion, loosening my shoulders. Stepping forward onto the platform, I started my other tradition, the one that was the most important. I would look through the crowd again, but I wasn’t looking for Jace. The pool was rippling beneath me, beckoning for me to join her, but I ignored her and searched for Tray. My time on top of the platform was only for him.
