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“Most specifically for your exemplary work, the personal risks taken, and the countless lives you saved through that work, by those risks in the recent incidents of mass murder by chemical weapons, the apprehension of Lewis Callaway and Gina MacMillon, and the case you built against them.”
“Commander, I’m honored. But I didn’t investigate, apprehend, or build the case alone. My team—”
“Will be acknowledged, as will Agent Teasdale from the HSO. You headed that team, Lieutenant. You commanded and command those men and women. This is the highest honor bestowed on a police officer by the NYPSD, and isn’t given lightly—though some politics may come into play. In this case, and in my considered opinion, they played properly. Do you want to dispute my considered opinion, Lieutenant?”
“No, sir.” Neatly cornered, she thought. “Thank you, sir.”
“The presentation is scheduled for this coming Wednesday, at fourteen hundred. I’ve been given the nod to so inform you. I’m proud to do so.”
“Thank you, Commander.” Actually, the idea left her tight in the chest with a snagged-up combination of pride, gratitude, and outright embarrassment. “I don’t want to seem ungrateful. I’m very grateful. But is it possible to keep this …”
“Low-key, quiet, small, and relatively private?”
Hope struggled to bloom through the snags. “Any of that?”
His lips curved. “Absolutely not. Suck that up, Dallas.”
And quietly died. “Yes, sir.”
“And on another matter that also has its tangle of politics, I have a question for you. Do you want a captaincy?”
Eve opened her mouth; couldn’t think of a thing. For a moment, she couldn’t quite feel her own feet. “Sir?”
“It’s a direct question, Lieutenant. I’d like a direct answer.” But before she could formulate one, he held up a finger to hold that answer off. “You’re young for the rank. Would be the youngest captain under my command. And if it had been my call alone, the bars would’ve been offered to you long before this. Politics, perception, prejudice have all played a part in the decision not to offer them. Our personal lives are part of who we are, and part of how we’re perceived.”
“Understood, Commander.” And because she did—not only understood him, but the process, and herself, everything in her loosened again.
“I’ve always understood, and have no regrets on my personal life.”
“Nor should you. It’s become more difficult, some may say impossible, to use your marriage as a wedge against this promotion. It’s particularly difficult now as Roarke will be awarded the Medal of Merit—Civilian.”
She actually felt her eyes pop a bit before she let out a half laugh. “I can use that on him for years.”
“The two of you have an interesting dynamic,” Whitney observed. “Now I’d like your answer.”
“Commander …” Trying to thi
nk clearly, so her answer would be, she raked a hand through her hair. “Three years ago I wouldn’t have hesitated. It was more about proving something, to myself. Outside of the job, the ground was pretty shaky for me, and I didn’t even know it. Not really. So I wanted that to prove I had the solid under me. And I wanted to earn it.”
“You have earned it.” As he studied her face, lines dug in between his eyebrows. “But now you hesitate?”
“Sir, I admire your transition from investigator to commander, your skill and your insight. Your work is more difficult than I can imagine, and it’s honorable and necessary.”
“You’ve already got the promotion if you want it, Dallas.”
That relaxed her, just a little more. “I’m not ready to ride a desk. I’m solid enough on administration, but I’m an investigator. A captain’s presence in the field, as an investigator, is the exception rather than the rule. I’m a murder cop; that’s my strength. That’s my skill and my insight. I wouldn’t be offered this promotion otherwise.”
She thought of Jenkinson’s ridiculous tie, of the rubber chicken above Sanchez’s desk when he’d been the new guy. More, she thought how she could trust, without question, anyone in her bullpen to go through the door with her.
“And sir? I don’t want to put a buffer between me and my men. I don’t want them to feel they have to climb the chain to talk to me, to run a case by me, to ask for my help. I’m not willing to step away from them. They, and the job, are more important than captain’s bars. I’m glad to be able to say that, and mean it.”
“You’ve given this considerable thought.”
“Actually, Commander, I’d put it away. I haven’t given it much of any thought in a long time now.” At peace with it, she realized—a not altogether familiar place to be. “I’m grateful to be considered. I believe I best serve the department and the people of New York where I am.”
He sat back again, a big man with a big city behind him. “I could have pushed for this harder at several points along the way, and had several debates with myself on doing just that.”
“Politics, sir.” She shrugged them away.
