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"A bit-- a bit too much. I would say now." He shrugged, then smiled.
"So, what's the problem? We'll have a baby."
"We'll have a baby? I think it's more likeI'll have the baby. Thatcher, unless there is some new procedure that involves the father, a procedure I have yet to learn about,"
"You know what I mean. We'll have a child. I don't see any major problem."
You don't? I'm going to school. I am in the middle of developing a career.
"So, you'll put it off for a while. Lots of women do that. And it won't have to be all that long either. Willow. We'll find a good nanny, that's all. Maybe you can even bring Amou back from Brazil," he added, beaming at me.
"I couldn't ask her to do that. She's not a young woman anymore, and she's happy where she is."
"I'm sure there are many, many good and responsible women we could employ."
I shook my head and looked away.
"It's not like we're some poor family dependent on your income to survive. Willow. What good is having money if you don't use it to fix problems?"
I spun on him.
"It's not that. I just didn't envision thinking of my pregnancy and my child as problems to be fixed."
"It's just a manner of speaking," he said quickly. "I don't actually mean a baby is a problem for us. The fact is, he or she won't be." He nodded. "Matter of fact, my parents will be overjoyed, and so will Grace. Have you told her?"
"Not yet. I thought you should know first. Thatcher."
Of course. I appreciate that," he said, stared at me for a long moment, then smiled, slapped his hands together, and stood up. "Well, for a long time I had trouble believing I was ever going to be someone's husband, and now I have to convince myself I'm ready to be someone's father." He leaned over. grasping the arms of my chaise, and kissed me. "I knew there was a good reason why I married you. You're going to make me a respectable man yet. Willow,"
He started away,
"Is that it?" I called. There were so many more things to discuss, but he either didn't hear me or decided to ignore my question.
'Don't wait up for me," he called back instead. "I have to see two different clients in two different places. and I might be back quite late."
I watched him hurry up the steps and into the house.
Was he right? I wondered. Was it all as simple as he made it out to be?
Was that what living here, being part of all this, really meant? No problem was too big to solve if you just threw enough money at it.
I never used to believe that. I thought, but living here could change you.
Even before you realized it had happened. It was like you never really had a chance to choose.
And even if I had the chance_. I had to wonder if I would have chosen differently anyway.
A cloud moved over the sun and cast a long shadow that moved like thick, liquid darkness over the house and grounds. For a moment, even in this warm place. I felt a chill.
It was just a small touch, like the tip of a finger feathering over the back of my neck, sending shivers down my spine.
Why it should be there. I had yet to know or understand. But there was no
doubt that it was there.
16
Something Unplanned
