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over with. What question?"
I paused and she looked away as if to make it
easier for me.
"Why did you adopt me?"
"What?" She turned back to me. "What kind of
a silly question is that?"
"It's not a silly question, Mother. Was it
because you lost a child and didn't want to try to have
another?"
"What? Who told you I lost a child?" "Daddy."
"It was another one of his lies. He was just
trying to get you to feel sorry for him and blame me
for everything wrong in this house."
"That wasn't true?"
"I thought it was. Being a mother has never
been easy for you, and I couldn't help feeling that all
the time." "Blaming me. I knew it."
"I'm not blaming you. I'm asking you to be
honest with me. I need to know everything I'm old
enough now, Mother. I've been forced to grow up
quickly," I added.
She glanced my way, her eyes filling with pain. "Why does everything have to be explained all
the time?"
"I have a right to know about myself, Mother.
I'll never get better if you don't help me. It might even
help you," I added.
She stared at me, looked out the window and
rocked. I didn't think she would say any more. I
expected I would just go upstairs and leave her in
silence as I had done so many times before. "My mother," she said suddenly, "got pregnant
