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"I bet she's very good," he replied, nodding, his eyes small and intent, "considering her parents' genes. What grade are you in, Christie?"
"First grade," she replied proudly. "And I'm in the first group."
"First group?"
"She's being accelerated," I explained. "She does second grader's work."
"Oh, I see. That's very nice. She's absolutely the most precious little girl I've ever seen," he declared. "What I lost, huh?" he said. The waitress brought our drinks. I sipped my tea as Michael took a long gulp of his scotch and soda, as if to fortify himself.
"Yes, Michael," I finally said, "what you lost, what you turned away, discarded without so much as leaving a note behind. Do you have any idea what that was like for me?" I asked, my eyes burning with anger. His eyes turned softer, meeting and locking with mine as I went on. "Not to even give me a warning, a hint, a phone call." Tears flooded my eyes, but I kept them trapped. I was determined not to cry, not to give him the satisfaction.
"I was horrible, I know," he replied. He lowered his gaze to his glass and then looked up at me. "But I couldn't stop myself from falling in love with you, even though it was very wrong for me to do it."
"We were overcoming those things, Michael. We had real plans, and you knew I didn't care what people said, including my so-called family at the time. Our age difference wasn't important, and as far as your being my teacher and your risking your teaching career, you were a renowned performer. You didn't intend to remain a teacher."
"No, no, none of that is what I mean," he said. "It was wrong for other reasons." He shifted his eyes away.
"What other reasons, Michael?"
He bit down on his lip, inhaled deeply through his nose and sat back.
"I think," I said, "it's time I knew everything, don't you?" He nodded.
"When I met you in New York and we began seeing each other and loving each other, I was already married," he confessed.
"What?" I exclaimed.
"I had been married for almost two years."
"I don't believe it. No one said anything, and the magazine stories about you never—"
"No one knew it," he said. "My public relations man made me keep it a secret. He warned that my announcing my marriage would hurt my career; it would stop young women from fantasizing about me."
"Where was your wife all this time?" I asked skeptically.
"She was back in London; she was an English girl I had met while I was working on a show. She was with the set designers. We fell in love quickly, almost as quickly as you and I had, and one day we just drove off to the country and got married in an old church. I was quite foolish and impulsive in those days, and as I said, my manager and publicity people were quite upset.
"My work and my traveling eventually diluted the love we had for each other. Actually, I had intended to tell her about you and ask her for a divorce, but before I could, I got word she was dying from a kidney ailment back in London, so I left to be with her and accepted a role in a London show. She hung on for months and months, and by the time it was all over, you were already gone. I did try to find you, but your whereabouts were secret.
"Disillusioned and lost, I returned to Europe to continue my career. Eventually I found out about your marriage and all."
"Why didn't you ever tell me about your wife?" I asked.
"I was afraid to; I was afraid you would leave me," he said.
"But why didn't you tell me at the end, or leave me a note?"
"I couldn't. I was weak, I know. I let my manager and publicity people take control of my life. They threatened to leave me; they told me I was destroying myself. What can I tell you?" he said, lifting his eyes toward me—eyes that seemed so full of tears now, they looked on the verge of releasing a flood of drops down his cheeks. "I had to choose between romantic bliss and my career, and I chose my career.
"I guess deep down I was married to the stage before I was married to anyone. That was my first love, and my strongest. Everything else weakened and paled beside it. I was younger, and very much infatuated with myself and my fame.
"Now that I look at you, and at beautiful Christie, I realize how great my loss has been.
"But it doesn't have to be," he added quickly. "I've come to my senses. Oh, admittedly years late, but still, I'm here."
"Michael, what are you saying? What are you proposing?" I asked, astounded.
"We had magic once, magic like no other two people had. When two people have such magic, they can get it back," he asserted.
