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"Promised?" I held my smile.
"Yes. I helped him find what he wanted. We went through the cartons together until he located it."
"Located what, Mrs. Boston?"
"Why . . . one of your nightgowns, and the perfume." I stared at her.
"Philip took one of my nightgowns and my perfume?"
"Didn't you want him to?" she asked. "He said he needed it for his honeymoon." Mrs. Boston saw the shock in my face. "Did I do something wrong?"
"Oh, no," I said, reassuring her. "It's nothing to do with you, Mrs. Boston. Don't give it any more thought."
She smiled.
"Well, then, good night," she said.
I walked into my suite slowly.
Philip was off on his honeymoon. He had made reservations at the exact motel where Jimmy and I had gone on Cape Cod; he had gotten Betty Ann to dye her hair my color and now he was going to dress her in my nightgown and make her wear my perfume. When he held her in his arms and closed his eyes he would see and feel me.
Somehow, the thought of it made me feel unclean and unfaithful. It was as if Philip was raping me again, even if it was only in his mind.
11
DAYS OF HAPPINESS, DAYS OF SORROW
TWO DAYS LATER WE MOVED INTO OUR NEW HOUSE. CHRISTIE WAS so adorable, insisting she be permitted to carry her own little suitcase. In it she had her hairbrush, two of her rag dolls, a pair of blue cotton socks, one of her summer dresses, and a book of nursery rhymes. She had decided herself what she would put into it. It reminded me of myself and my own little suitcase, only when I had packed, I had stuffed in everything I owned. I did it from the time I was Christie's age until the day they brought me to the hotel. That suitcase was still somewhere in the hotel attic with other old things.
"I'm ready," she declared as soon as she closed the little suitcase. Jimmy picked her up and carried her along with him to help supervise the moving. There was a great deal to do at the hotel as well, so I remained in my office throughout the morning. Mrs. Boston surprised me by coming to my office to ask if she could be our maid. Sissy and her fiancé had saved enough money to set the date for their wedding, so Mrs. Boston knew Sissy wouldn't be with us much longer.
I was flattered by her proposal and her decision to stay with Jimmy and me rather than continue at the hotel, taking care of the family section for Philip. She had been there for years and years. I thanked her and told her to pack her things and move into the maid's quarters in the new house immediately. From the way her face lit up, I thought she might even feel as I did: that she was getting away from old ghosts and unhappy memories, which seemed to be resurrected as soon as the day's work was over for us and we retreated to our suites.
"Fresh walls is what I need now," Mrs. Boston said. "I'm tired of the same shadows behind me and around me."
Fresh walls is what she got, for our house was bright and airy. I had chosen as many light colors as I could for all the rooms. With the large windows letting in as much sunlight as possible, the marble floors, white staircase and mauve curtains looked resplendent even on gray days. Everyone commented favorably about my choice of furnishings. Those who paraded through our hallways and rooms the first week or so spoke about the "dazzling chandeliers," the "radiant colors" and the "happy and warm feelings" they felt while there.
Philip surprised me with a phone call from Provincetown the first night we spent in our new house.
"I wanted to be sure to call you and wish you good luck," he said.
"It's very nice of you to think of us on your honeymoon, Philip," I replied, keeping my voice as formal and as cool as I could.
"The weather here hasn't been as nice as we hoped," he said quickly. "I'm tempted to cut our honeymoon short and return to Cutler's Cove."
He then proceeded to complain about the restaurants and the beach. Nothing was as good as he had expected it to be. Jimmy was surprised when I told him about Philip's call.
"Why would anyone want to cut his own honeymoon short if he didn't have to?" he wondered aloud. "He was probably just talking," he said.
However, Philip did cut his honeymoon short by one day. He returned to the hotel at night, after Jimmy and I had retired to our house. We heard the buzzer, and Jimmy went to the door to greet Philip and Betty Ann. Philip had brought along a bottle of champagne.
"We weren't here to celebrate with you, so we thought we'd have a toast now," he said. "If we're not intruding, that is."
"Oh, no, no," Jimmy said, unable to hide the surprise in his voice. "Come on in."
I took Betty Ann through the house while Jimmy and Philip talked in the sitting room. Mrs. Boston had just put Christie to bed, but she was still awake.
"Do you know who this is, Christie?" I asked her when we popped our heads in.
