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She didn’t want to be without him anymore. They had already lost so much. She didn’t want to lose anymore.
What if he doesn’t want me anymore?
What if this was all about his own feelings and not about me at all?
It’s the risk you’re going to have to take.
Lying down rather than fighting for what she wanted was no longer an option.
Soon, they were going to be parents, and she wasn’t going to spend her life waiting for him for the moments when they could see their child. She needed to be stronger for the both of them.
With a quick deep breath, she squared her shoulders and walked out to Grant. “I want to find Logan,” she said.
Grant looked up from his cell phone. “You do?”
“Yes.”
“You’re not going to kill him, are you?”
“What? No, of course not. What makes you think I want to kill him?”
“It’s a joke.”
“It’s not funny.”
“Not if you’re me.”
“Oh, okay. Fine. I don’t understand, but I will.” She shook her head. Her hands were shaking. “I’d really like to go and see him. Do you know where he is?”
“Of course.” He typed into his cell phone, and she waited, feeling more nervous with every passing second. “Hunter now knows we’re coming.”
“Wait, won’t he tell Logan we’re on our way?”
“No.”
“But he’s always with Logan. No, I can’t do this.”
“Hunter knows and understands, okay?”
She stared at Grant, a little confused. “He knows what? What is it he understands?”
“Your feelings for Logan.”
“How can he even know when I don’t completely understand?”
“I guess it’s easier for us watching you guys than the two of you who are in the thick of it.”
“Why am I finding you so irritating?”
“Because you know I’m right and you’re pregnant and hormonal.”
“That’s always the excuse men make rather than see anything as being their fault.”
“We’re all perfect. You do know that, right?”
“I don’t know anything. I really don’t want to talk right now. Can we just move on, please?” She ran fingers through her hair, bunching up the curls. Pregnancy had given her a glow. The morning sickness hadn’t been too bad so far. However, her nerves were really shot right now, and she didn’t know if she was going to be able to handle seeing Logan.
This was all … new for her. It was a completely new experience to have these feelings. This desire to make what Luke had done go away. He had no right to come between her and Logan.
Grant stood and grabbed his jacket. Ava didn’t bother with anything and followed him out of her apartment. He draped his jacket over her shoulders as they made their way downstairs and out into the cold.
She didn’t climb into the backseat of the car, but into the passenger side, strapping herself into place and trying with all of her might not to be nervous. She couldn’t help the way she was feeling.
It would all be fine. She had to believe that.
“Do you know the sex yet?” Grant asked.
“What?”
“The sex? Of the baby. Have you found it out yet?”
“Oh, no. I would have told you if we knew. It’s still a little early. I’m not showing all that much yet. I’ll know soon enough.”
“And how does it feel to know you’re going to have a baby?”
She turned toward him. Grant didn’t even glance her way. “Why are you asking me so many questions about the baby when you’ve had so many opportunities and haven’t taken them?” He usually talked about his favorite movies or the books he enjoyed. Even his food preferences. The conversation was always on safe topics.
“I’m trying to relax you. You know, help you to figure out why it is you want to go and see Logan.”
“I know why I want to go and see him.”
“And that reason is…”
“I don’t have to tell you about it.” She clenched her hands into fists to stop them from shaking.
“Hunter and I, we have a different understanding as to why you want to go and see Logan.”
“I bet you two do.”
“We do, and it is really interesting.”
“Go on, let’s hear it.” She couldn’t think of a single reason why not to let him tell her exactly what he thought.
“We believe you and Logan are in love with each other.”
This time, he had her full attention. “What?”
“Yep. Deep down we’re hopeless romantics, and you guys have been apart way too much.”
“I don’t … that’s crazy.”
“You don’t love Logan?”
“I…” She couldn’t think of the right words to say. “No, yes, I don’t know. This is none of your business.”
“You’re right, it’s none of my business, but you’ve got to ask yourself, Ava, why do you cry yourself to sleep? Why did you look so happy when he arrived at your doctor’s appointment only to die little by little because he didn’t pay you a single ounce of attention?”
