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I was going to see the new family living in the gardener’s cottage that hadn’t been occupied for many years. I’d never seen this part of the woods, but still it seemed familiar. I stopped to stare down at the path, which branched off right and crookedly wandered forward, too. Deep inside some directing knowledge told me to turn right. Each little noise I heard made me freeze, listen, straining to hear the giggle I heard when I was in that rocking chair, reliving events that had happened to the First and Best, and were glued to that chair. Little whispers were in the summer leaves. Little butterflies of panic were fluttering in my head. I kept hearing all the warnings: “Dangerous in the woods. Unsafe in the woods. Death in the woods.” Nervously I quickened my steps. I’d sing like the seven dwarfs used to whistle to make them unafraid … now why did I think that? That was her kind of thought.
I told myself as I hurried along that it was time I braved the world by myself, time indeed. I told myself each foot away from that house of dim corners and brooding whispers was making me feel better, happier. I wasn’t weak, spoiled or unfit for the world. I was just as brave as any girl of … seven?
Something about the woods—something about the way the sun shone through the leaves. Colors were trying to speak to me, tell me what I couldn’t remember. If I didn’t stop thinking as I was, soon I’d be running and screaming, expecting the same thing to happen to me that had happened to her. I was the only Audrina left alive in the world. Truly I didn’t have to be afraid. Lightning never struck twice in the same place.
On the very edge of a clearing, I came upon the cottage in the woods. It was a small white cottage with a red roof. I ducked to hide behind an old hickory tree when I saw a boy come out of the cottage door carrying a rake and a pail. He was tall and slim, and already I knew who he was. He was the one who’d given Vera the box of candy on Valentine’s Day.
She had told me he was eleven, and in July he’d be twelve. The most popular boy in his class—studious, intelligent, quick-witted and fun—and he had a crush on Vera. That sort of proved he wasn’t too brilliant. But from what my aunt was always saying, men were only grown-up little boys, and the male sex knew only what their eyes and glands told them, nothing else.
Watching him, I could tell he was a hard worker from the diligent way he set about cleaning up the yard, which was a wilderness of tangleweed, briars, Virginia crabgrass, spidergrass.
He wore faded blue jeans that fit skintight, as if he’d outgrown them or they’d shrunk. His thin old shirt might once have been bright blue, but now it was faded gray-white. From time to time he’d stop to rest, to look around and whistle in imitation of some bird. Then, after a few seconds, he was back to work, pulling up weeds and throwing them in his pail, which he dumped often in a huge trash can. This boy didn’t scare me, even though Papa and that rocking chair had taught me to be terrified of what boys might do.
Suddenly he tore off the worn canvas gloves he wore, hurled them down and spun around, directly facing the tree I was hiding behind.
“Isn’t it time you stopped hiding and watching?” he asked, turning to pick up his pail of weeds to empty it in the larger can. “Come on out and be friendly. I don’t bite.”
My tongue stayed glued to the roof of my mouth, though his voice was kind.
“I won’t hurt you, if that’s why you’re afraid. I even know your name is Audrina Adelle Adare, the girl with the beautiful long hair that changes colors. All the boys in Whitefern Village talk about the Whitefern girls and say you’re the most beautiful one of all. Why don’t you go to school like other girls? And why didn’t you write me a note and thank me for that box of Valentine candy I sent you months and months ago? That was rude, you know, very rude not to even call on the phone …”
My breath caught. He’d given me the candy and not Vera? “I didn’t know you knew me, and no one gave me the candy,” I said in a small, hoarse voice. I wasn’t sure even now that he’d send a totally unknown girl a box of expensive candy when Vera was pretty enough and already shaping into a woman.
“Sure I know you. That’s why I wrote you that note with the candy. I see you all the time with your parents.” He continued, “The trouble is, you never turn your head to see anyone. I’m in your sister’s class in school. I asked her why you didn’t go to school and she told me you were crazy, but I don’t believe that. When people are crazy it shows in their eyes. I went into the drugstore and looked for the prettiest red satin heart of all. I hope Vera gave you at least one piece, since it was all yours.”
Did he know Vera that well, enough to suspect she’d lie and eat it all? “Vera said you gave the box of candy to her.”
“Aha!” he said. “That is exactly what my mom said when I told her you must be a very ungrateful kind of girl. And even if you didn’t eat a piece, I hope you realize I did try to let you know there’s one boy who thinks you are the prettiest girl he’s ever seen.”
“Thank you for the candy,” I whispered.
“I deliver the morning and evening newspapers. It’s the first time I’ve spent my hard-earned money on a gift for a girl.”
“Why did you do it?”
He turned his head quickly, trying to catch a glimpse. Oh, his eyes were amber-colored. The sun was in them, making him almost blind, but showing me in detail what a pretty color they were, a lot lighter in shade than his hair. “I guess sometimes, Audrina, you can look at a girl and know right away you like her a lot. And when she never even looks your way, you’ve got to do something drastic. And then it didn’t work.”
Not knowing what to say, I said nothing. But I did move a little so he could see my face, while my body stayed safely hidden by the bushes.
“Darn if I can understand why you don’t go to school.”
How could I explain when I didn’t understand? Unless it was like Aunt Ellsbeth said, that Papa wanted to keep me all for himself and “train” me.
“Since you haven’t asked, I’ll introduce myself. I’m Arden Nelson Lowe.” Cautiously, he stepped closer to my hiding place, craning his neck in order to see me better. “I’m an A name, too, if that means anything, and I think it does.”
“What do you think it means?” I asked, feeling perplexed. “And don’t come any closer. If you do, I’ll run.”
“If you run, I’ll only give chase and catch you,” he said.
“I can run very fast,” I warned.
“So can I.”
“If you caught me, what would you do?”
He laughed and spun around in a circle. “I really don’t know, except it would give me the chance to see you really close, and then I could find out if those eyes of yours are truly violet, or just dark blue.”
“Would it matter?” I felt worried. My eye color was like my hair color—ambiguous. Strange eyes that could change color with my moods, from violet to dark, dark purple. Haunted eyes, said Aunt Ellsbeth, who was always telling me in indirect ways that I was weird.
