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That was the exact opposite of the plan.

But I was starting to think I’d already been halfway in love with him, then had fallen the rest of the way when I met him in person.

Love at first sight. In a way.

It certainly had shook my world upside down.

I hadn’t even told Michael I was in love with him. I didn’t want it to influence his decisions about how to proceed from there, but it was hard to look at him and stuff down my emotions. Now I really felt like I had to keep quiet. He was suggesting we get married.

The. Next. Day.

My stomach lurched again.

Did that mean he loved me? Or was he just assuming eventually he’d love me? Or that we’d have a baby and love would be a friendly thing, based on sexual chemistry and co-parenting.

It felt like the words were stuck inside me, scratching at my throat and mouth, trying to burst forth with a scream.

I love you.

I wanted him to say it first. I needed him to say it first.

Maybe that was why I felt so fucking nauseous. I was choking on my own emotions.

When the server appeared to disrupt our loud and painful silence, I cleared my throat and managed to ask her for a cup of minestrone soup.

Michael settled on a bacon burger. With fries. A side of the chili.

Good God. I was grateful the table was wider than a standard two-top. I didn’t want to be close enough to sme

ll any of that.

“We couldn’t even get a marriage license by tomorrow,” I said, as the thought popped into my head. Not that I was considering marrying him, but it truly wasn’t even possible.

“We could go get one today if we really wanted to.”

“I don’t think so,” I said, even though I was basing that on nothing. “I think there’s a waiting period.”

“I can look it up online and find out.” He pulled out his phone.

I shook my mind. “Don’t do that. We can’t get married tomorrow. That’s just… overwhelming. Especially with fifty people in the room, watching us. I just couldn’t.”

“We could get married at the courthouse, then have the engagement party be an actual wedding reception. We can surprise everyone.”

“I don’t know.” I didn’t. I didn’t know anything. I sipped my water and watched Michael swipe through his phone, clearly looking up marriage licenses.

If he had said he wanted to marry me tomorrow because he loved me, with all his heart, and wanted to be together forever and build our relationship into something amazing, I might be stupid enough to agree to it. But he wasn’t saying he loved me. He was saying it was the practical thing to do and I didn’t think I could stand there and have it be fake when I wanted it to be real.

Even if he said he thought he was falling in love with me, that it could be the foundation for something more, I might have been tempted.

What he was suggesting wasn’t even close.

“This is actually a pretty simple process. You go in person to the courthouse and fill out the application. It’s processed while you wait, then you have to wait twenty-four hours before you can get married. So we could go back tomorrow and get married or find someone to marry us at the party.”

I didn’t even know what to say.

“All I need is Becca’s death certificate. You’ve never been married, have you?” he asked.

That right there made it ridiculous. How could we get married when he didn’t even know if I’d been married before?

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