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“I don’t know that it is, Savannah. If this test is positive, what the hell am I supposed to do?” Michael was out buying alcohol for the party and his mother was at the salon, thank God. I couldn’t have handled seeing either of them.
My friend ran her hands up and down my arms. “Then you have a baby. You’ll be a great mom. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. What are the odds you’re actually pregnant? You said you haven’t even been having sex, which is definitely a prerequisite. You probably have an ulcer or something.”
“I hope so.” Which seemed like a twisted thing to wish for but it would be highly preferable over bringing a baby into the whole visa situation. It wasn’t that I didn’t want a baby, because I really, really did. Eventually. But the timing utterly sucked.
“I have the test in my purse. Let’s go in your bathroom.” Savannah peeled off her coat and hung it up. She glanced around. “Nice apartment. It looks like everything is almost ready for the party tonight.”
“Michael’s mother is a force of nature. She did the majority of the work.” I was still hurt my own mother had decided not to attend. It didn’t exactly reassure me that I would be returning to her less than open arms if I had to go back to England.
“I couldn’t get a sitter, so I’m bringing Sully. We probably won’t stay long. Cocktails parties with a baby are not ideal.”
“I totally understand.” I shut the bedroom door behind us and locked it. I held my hand out. “Okay, give me this damn thing.”
She pulled a brown bag out of her purse and handed it to me.
“Here goes nothing.” I took a deep breath and went into the bathroom.
The directions were straightforward and after washing my hands I let Savannah into the bathroom. “I’m sure it will be negative. I think this is stress.” Eighty-five percent of me felt that way. The other fifteen percent was convinced I was pregnant. “We used condoms and I don’t remember any slipups.”
“Then I’m sure it will be negative.” She tucked her red hair behind her ears. “But if it’s positive, focus on the end game. You’ll have a baby and that’s the best thing in the world, trust me, I know. Plus, you have a great guy and you’re going to have an amazing house.”
“If our offer is accepted. We haven’t heard back from the agent yet.” Making an offer on the brownstone was super impulsive given our complicated-as-fuck lives but I hadn’t been able to resist. It was just perfect.
I paced back and forth, avoiding the teak vanity. “You look first. I can’t take it.”
There was a pause, then Savannah said, “Do you want me to tell you the result?”
I squeezed my eyes shut. Did I? Yes. I had to know. “Give it to me straight.”
“You’re pregnant.”
Somehow in my panicked state I wasn’t sure if there had been a “not” in her sentence. “Wait, what? I’m not pregnant or I’m pregnant?”
“You are pregnant. The test is positive.”
Everything inside me went hot. I felt a rush of heat up into my cheeks and I got a little lightheaded. Holy shit. I was going to be a mum. It was utterly terrifying but it was also, well, exciting. A tiny human. Made by me and Michael.
At least I could guarantee that he wasn’t going to be upset.
“I guess it’s not an ulcer,” I said in an attempt at a joke.
“Are you okay?” Savannah asked, worried. She came over and took my hands. “I know this is a shock.”
I nodded and took a deep breath. “I’m okay. I’m fine. I’m actually, well, happy. About the baby, I mean. But it’s really bad timing.”
Worst timing ever actually.
“Babies don’t give a flip about timing.” She gave me a grin. “Oh my God, I’m so happy for you! Sully will have a buddy!”
“If I’m not tossed out of the US.” Right now though, I couldn’t even think about that. I just wanted to wander around in wo
nderment and awe that I was having a baby.
“That’s what lawyers are for and Michael will be all over this now that you’re pregnant.”
“I don’t think I should tell him before the party.” I wasn’t going to tell him until after we had our “are we staying together or not” conversation. I needed to know that he cared about me. Maybe he didn’t love me yet, but I needed to know he had feelings for me that went beyond friendship and appreciation for our great sex life.
“Good call. That would throw him off his social game. He would want to tell everyone and truthfully, you’re so early in the pregnancy, you should wait a couple months before telling everyone you know.”
