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“Nothing at all? You don’t remember offending him in some way? Getting him in trouble?”
“Maybe he’s secretly in love with me.” Sean gave me a grin. “No. I have no clue. Maybe he has stuff going on in his personal life. Maybe this has nothing to do with you or me. Now let’s forget about Martin. Let’s have fun and kick some ass.”
Sean did a little Rocky maneuver, bouncing on the balls of his feet, and pretending to punch me. Trying to figure out where the hell all my stress was coming from, I rolled my neck and then my shoulders back.
“We’ve got this,” I said, trying to convince myself it was true.
We gave each other a high five, which was not what I wanted to be doing with Sean.
I wasn’t sure what was going on with me. Well. I did have an inkling. I just didn’t want to admit it. I had fallen in love with Sean and I had told him so. This was all brand new to me and it was terrifying.
Maybe he was right. Maybe, even though it was really awkward and uncomfortable, I wanted our relationship to stay a secret because I was afraid. I didn’t know how to be with someone, let alone a co-worker. My boss. Whatever the hell he was.
It made me angry with myself that I could handle just about whatever came my way except for love.
We had sixteen hours to complete our menu for the judges. Our ingredients and supplies had been delivered to our station an hour earlier and we had our sous chef, Jeff, joining us. It was all open air, with tents over the prep areas, and there would be thousands of people milling around in the morning when the gate opened at ten. Our support staff was creating the menu for the masses to serve to represent Bone.
We were doing two proteins, two sides, and a dessert for the judges but only one protein and a side to sell to attendees. It didn’t sound like much but serving brisket sandwiches and pork belly mac and cheese to five hundred people was no joke. A brisket needed to be smoked low and slow and the fire had to be tended to all night.
I had forced myself to take an afternoon nap and at eight o’clock I was ready and raring to go.
“You were right to go with a totally different menu,” Sean said, as we flashed our badges and entered our station. “This isn’t about Martin. It’s about putting forward our best food.”
“I agree.” I surveyed the scene, nodding to our support staff and checking out the equipment. “This is a better smoker than last year. I’m impressed.”
Then I realized that Woodstock’s station was directly across from ours. I had to stare at pasty Martin all night. But all the better for seeing his expression when Bone won.
Sean and I had talked a lot about our strategy for the next few hours and it was my job to get the wood burning while he made the rub and prepped the meat. We had to get our brisket in as soon as possible for a slow burn cook.
“Where’s the wood?” I asked, poking around all tables, opening rubber bins. “I ordered all that hickory and now I can’t find it. It was packed in a bin last night and put on the truck.” I started yanking lids off with in
creased speed. This was not cool.
“It’s here somewhere,” Sean said. “Relax, babe.”
I glared at him. “Don’t call me babe.”
Sean’s eyebrows shot up. “Okay. Isla.” Then he turned his back, not so much on me, but because he needed to get pantry items for the rub, yet it still made me feel dismissed.
Damn it, I was a mess. This was why I couldn’t handle dating my boss in secret. I didn’t know how to act. The pressure had been building up for a month and this competition was important, Sean was important, my job was important. I was juggling balls in the air that were all enormous. I didn’t want to drop any of them, and yet, I just didn’t know how to manage it all.
Then the thought of Sean as an enormous ball made me realize I had totally lost my mind. I was in love and acting crazy. So freaking typical.
After ten minutes, during which I started sweating, and stubbed my toe on the corner of the grill, I finally found the hickory and started hauling it out to get the smoker fired up. The key to the perfect brisket was a steady temperature and an even smoke. Sean and I had debated using applewood but then decided it was too sweet for the flavor we were going for with our meat.
I dumped wood chips, wishing every single thought I had didn’t take me back to Sean. It was distracting. After a decade of living in New York I was used to people being around me all the time. Pressing in, brushing against me on the subway, rushing past, earbuds in talking loudly on their phone. Not to mention the hiss of the sidewalk grates, the honk of cars and cabs, and the regular sound of sirens wailing through the air.
Other competitors, the judges, my co-workers didn’t distract me. Just Sean and the sight of his muscular arms beneath his rolled-up chef coat sleeves, and the occasional grin or wink he shot my way.
It was a problem.
Fortunately, tending the fire was a solitary and steady job and between working on prep for side dishes to be made in the morning, I was hovering, fussing over the smoking chips like they were a newborn baby. If the wood was oxygenated enough it would cause thick, dirty smoke on the brisket.
“Those announcers or judges or whatever the hell they are are driving me crazy,” Jeff said, coming up beside me and reaching for a bottle of water from the cooler.
“What announcers?” I asked, glancing at him.
Jeff looked at me like I was insane. “You don’t hear that yapping? Oh my God, it’s incessant, like my ex-wife.”
