AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Matt…”
“Feel me now?” he growls. “Know who I am?”
“Matt,” I whisper, “Matt. As long as…” I’m panting, my body and mind on overload. “As long as you know who I am, too.”
Silence falls between us, punctuated only by our heavy breathing.
Wow, look at my insecurities surfacing. Picked the time, too.
Only it makes sense. All my barriers are down. I’m wide open and bared to him in every way. And there’s this voice in the back of my mind that keeps asking, How do you compete with a ghost?
I sort of ignored it, mostly, because he said he loves me, but I guess insecurities don’t take a hint and get lost that easily.
And then the worst thing happens.
He pulls out of me.
I’m shaking, blind and cold on all fours on his bed, and to my horror I feel tears slipping down my face from under the dark cloth.
Oh God… The fear and the despair of that night rushes back into me, and I yank off the blindfold with shaking fingers.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “Crap, I…”
His hands are on me, turning me around, pulling me to his chest. “Tay…” His voice softens. “I swear, I only see you. Only you.”
I let him pet me and sooth me. “But Emma…”
Her name hangs between us.
“Only you,” he repeats, his dark eyes grave. “Emma will always be in my heart, but I am here now, with you. You have all of me, babe.”
A sigh escapes me. It feels I’ve been holding my breath ever since I met him, waiting for these words.
And I’m not done with the fears and doubts, it seems, because I open my mouth to ask him to fuck me, and instead I say, “I want to go to college.”
God in heaven, Octavia. Now you want to talk about this? With his hard cock rubbing over your ass and his eyes cloudy with desire? With your pussy dripping wet and aching to feel—
“I thought you would,” he says. “You’re bright. You should.”
I lick my lips, my mouth suddenly dry. “But you…”
“I don’t have to stay here. Nothing ties me here.” One side of his mouth tips up in a quick smile. “Nothing except for you.”
“My family is here.” Great, now I’m arguing with myself.
“We could take them along with us.”
“We,” I whisper, unable to get past the word. My eyes well up.
“Yeah, we. Unless they don’t want to move?”
I think about this. They probably do. I’d have to ask, but why would they want to stay? Mom isn’t in love with Jasper Jones anymore. She stayed here because she was trapped by lack of money more than anything, and I’m pretty sure Gigi and Merc would like a change in scenery after the bullying we went through all these years.
“Listen, Tay…” It’s his turn to frown and pause, as if thinking hard about something. “There’s something I wanted to ask you. I was going to do it in the garden, but then wasn’t sure it was a good time, and…”
I clutch at his shoulders, butterflies bouncing around in my stomach. “What is it?”
Oh God, don’t let it be something bad. I don’t like the way his brow creases as if in worry.
