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And I didn’t regret it. Not until he told me to get dressed and go, without waiting to see if I made it out of the house. He’s not a beast.
He’s an asshole.
Gigi’s words from last night are still ringing in my head. You’re not going back to that house, to that guy, she’d said. He treated you like trash. Like a whore. Used you and dismissed you.
You’re not going back to Matt Hansen, Tati.
Yet here I am.
When I arrived home, she’d seen me. After I did the walk of shame from Matt’s house to the bus stop, my mouth burning from his kisses, the ache between my legs too much—not because it was that bad, but because it reminded me how good it felt to have him inside him, to have him hold me and touch me…
That made the pain worse.
Now my pain, my disappointment and regret have been buried under a thick layer of icy fear. None of all this is Cole’s fault. We have to find that sweet little boy before anything bad happens to him.
The thought alone is unbearable.
“Any sign of him?” the cop asks us, a pretty young woman with a ponytail and a sharp gaze. “Are you sure he’s not hiding in the house? Kids do that sometimes. Think it’s funny.”
“Her son does it,” the other cop says with a nod at her. Also young, staring at her like she hung the moon.
Oooh, cops in love.
“He’s not in the house,” Matt grinds out. In the bright light of day, the bruises on his face look livid.
I shift Mary in my arms. She’s heavy.
Matt reaches for her, and she doesn’t seem to mind. In the last moment, though, she turns to me and says in her cute little voice, “You won’t go, Tati?”
“I won’t,” I promise.
Not until we find Cole, anyway. After that, well… it’s anybody’s guess what will happen.
“Stay calm,” the cop says, her ponytail swinging as she takes in the narrow street and sleepy houses. “You called us quickly. He can’t be far.”
Matt mutters something under his breath and starts down the street with Mary in his arms.
“Mr. Hansen!” the other cop calls, but Matt doesn’t even slow down. “Where’s the mother?”
“She’s not here,” I tell them. “She passed years ago.”
The cop’s face softens. “I’m going with Mr. Hansen. You go with Julie, check the other side.”
And he sets out without waiting for acknowledgment.
Maybe that’s how they train you to act in the police academy? In any case, Julie nods at me, and we start down the other side of the street.
“Is there any place he likes visiting?” Julie asks me, her strides so big I have to jog to keep up with her. “A playground? A neighbor’s kids he likes?”
I shake my head. “Not that I know of. We always stayed indoors. He likes playing with his sister. They’ve only moved here recently.”
“I see.” I fall silent, hurrying after the policewoman, looking into yards and behind picket fences. Then I can’t help but ask, “I didn’t expect the police to show up to help look for Cole. Not that… you don’t care, just… You know. He hasn’t been missing long.”
And that word—missing—makes my throat clog and my heart ache.
“After the threatening messages Mr. Hansen received, we thought it important to make sure the little boy is safe.”
I think of how her partner mentioned her son, and I wonder if that’s the only reason.
