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“Watch where you’re going, dammit.” I look at him go, not sure why I’m so rattled. His words shouldn’t sting like that, but they’re the last drop in a long motherfucking torrent of abuse today. “And fuck you, anyway.”
For some strange reason, the need to see Mom hits me so hard I can’t breathe. I don’t even care that my clothes are covered in greasy mayo stains, that I stink like fried fat and sweat.
But first I have a gang meeting to attend.
“We’re evolving,” Mav is saying, gesturing with his lit cigarette around, leaving smoke signals with every move. “Like a living organism, we’re taking over more and more territory. We’re expanding our business.”
He stops and waits, and I imagine a round of applause going up.
Maybe he does, too, but the silence he gets instead doesn’t seem to faze him. Everyone’s looking bored, or drunk, or both, sprawled on plastic chairs in this backroom of a bar we’ve been using lately to meet.
What exactly is he talking about, anyway? This is a gang that nobody talks about. Well, apart from Gus, but that doesn’t really count. I always knew Mav and Angel were ambitious little shits, but this sounds like they’re planning something…
Or I’m just tired and hearing things in Mav’s ramblings that aren’t there. Is he just trying to make himself look important?
“Angel will tell you more about this,” he goes on. “Soon, when he has the details.”
And now I’m thinking again that Mav is planning something.
Whispers fly around the room. Jorge is looking more alert than I’ve ever seen him. What does he know?
“Hey, Mav. You sure you should be talking about this in front of him?” Declan asks, sneering at me. “He can’t be trusted. Do you ever wonder what he’s doing when he’s not here, who he’s talking to?”
“Fuck you.” I lean back in my chair. “Who would I talk to?”
“That?
??s the question, ain’t it?” He shoots me a nasty grin.
I push my chair back as I get to my feet. “You really want my fist in your ugly mug, asshole?”
“Gonna hit me? Do it, motherfucker.” He opens his arms, his grin widening.
I’m gonna rip him a new one.
“Jarett, sit down,” Mav barks. “Dec, shut your trap.”
“Lay off him, Dec.” Sebastian throws an empty can of beer at Declan. “Fen isn’t talking to anyone outside us.”
I turn, startled, but Seb only glares at me as if I pissed in his Cheerios.
Right. So what was that about? Is he just concerned about me blackening his image in the gang?
“Fuck you,” I tell him.
I don’t need his support. I knew they don’t really trust me, and it seems they sensed I’m pulling back more and more these days.
Well, fuck them.
Fuck them all. I don’t give a damn.
I walk to the bus stop and catch the next bus in the direction of the nursing home. I’m numb, and tired, and content to just let the city roll by, lights and people and noise.
My phone bleeps with a message. I glance at it and find it’s from Gigi, asking me how I am.
That makes me smile. In the middle of my anger and frustration, only she can do that.
‘I’m fine,’ I send back and slump back in my seat.
