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“She’s been trying to get me to sleep with her for a while. She came on to me. And she did it on purpose.”
“How can I believe you?”
“Why shouldn’t you believe me?” I feel ice coming into my voice. I wish it could fill my veins, dull my senses. “Why the hell not?”
“I have to go.” Her bus is arriving, and she’s already moving forward. Leaving me.
“I didn’t kiss her, Embers.” To hell with that. She’s Embers to me. Only to me. “I’d never kiss any girl but you.”
“Goodbye,” she whispers, gets on the bus and goes.
I stomp away, not even knowing where I’m going, shaking all over. I fucked up. I don’t know how, but it’s my fault yet again.
What did I do wrong? I haven’t as much as glanced at another girl. Other girls hold no interest for me anymore.
I thought when she stopped snapping at me and calling me names, when she kissed me back and held me, that I’d turn tail and run. So why isn’t it happening? Why do I want her more than ever?
I need her. I miss her. I fucking love her.
Love her. The realization hits me and I bend over for a second. Fuck. When they say you fall in love, I never thought it really felt that way, like falling. Like crashing from up high.
I blink dazedly at the busy street. I love Amber. Shouldn’t it feel more like flying? Where are the rainbows and shooting stars? Why does it hurt so much?
I’d give my soul to be with her. In fact, I think I already have.
Chapter Nineteen
Amber
He’s holding me in his arms, kissing me. His skin is silky soft where we touch, muscles shifting and bulging as he rolls me under him, his warm lips moving from my mouth to my jaw, trailing hot kisses down my neck. Between my legs, his hard-on is an insistent pressure that sends fire to my core.
“Embers…” he whispers, his hips rocking, and he slides into me. “Need you, Embers…”
I need you, too, I want to say, but I can’t speak. Not when he’s sinking into me, a delicious burn and stretch, his hot length sliding deep, filling me up. Need you.
Love you, JJ.
I want to cry, because something’s wrong. He can’t be here. He’s not here. I can’t let him in again, can’t hold him inside me, or in my arms, because…
“Kitten.” He’s moving faster, panting, his strong body sliding against mine, his cock fucking me fast and hard.
Until I come apart, writhing on the bed, waves of pleasure crashing over me, drowning me. I can’t breathe, my nose clogged and my eyes running.
I’m crying. Have been for a while. I wake up in my bed, alone, still shaking from my release.
Crap, it was a dream. He wasn’t here. And when memory returns—the image of him and Cassie kissing at the wedding reception—I swallow a sob.
I knew it would come, but now it happened I can hardly believe it. Never knew a broken heart could hurt so much. At least he stopped calling and texting every day.
How can I trust him again? It took me so much effort to unlock myself, to believe he wants me, to believe we might have something between us.
And he kissed a girl the moment I turned my back.
But against my better judgment, I want to trust him. God, I miss him so much it’s suffocating me, killing me. I miss his faint, real smile and his teasing grin, I miss the look of concentration on his face when I teach him to cook, the way he kisses me like he can never get enough. The way he opened up to me about his past, the way he drew my image, lower lip tucked under his teeth, his eyes hot on me.
I miss the way he held me, the way he teased me, the way he sat with me and shopped with me. The way he made love to me and shook me to my core like no one else before. He treated me as someone strong and whole, not someone broken.
If only he saw me now…
