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But I can’t go back. Slowly I make my way down the stairs, even as every fiber of my being calls me back to him. No. He showed me what kind of a man he is. Asking for sexual favors in exchange for help. No matter how sexy, what an amazing kisser he is, he showed his true colors.

I hate him.

Liar, liar, pants on fire, a little voice chants in the back of my mind as I wander through the house, looking for Sydney with little hope of finding her. I bet she left with one of her harem boys. You don’t hate him.

You want him. So damn much.

Yeah, well. Too bad. Can’t always have what you want, especially if it’s a jerk with an attitude and a big dick. I mean…

Never mind. Forget it, okay?

Predictably, Sydney is nowhere to be found, and I don’t know if to be more angry or depressed. I walk through the rooms of the frat house a bit longer, on the off chance I missed her, ignoring assholes with awful come-on lines and dodging wandering hands, until I’ve had enough.

Time to call it a night.

My heart is heavy as I call an Uber and make my lonely way home.

My friendship with Sydney is on shaky ground. What she told me when I walked her back to the frat house earlier didn’t reassure me. Something about one of her guys going off and about drugs and medication. It didn’t make much sense. And she didn’t promise to explain, or stop.

And Jarett…

What do I do about him?

The Uber leaves me in front of home, and I get out and stand in the cold, wind whipping at my legs, lancing through my jacket. I hug my arms around me, lost in thought, lost in the memory of that kiss, that encounter that shook me so much.

I should feel dirty. Ashamed. Angry with myself.

But strangely all I feel is sadness. I wish… I wish old Jarett was back, the silent boy I talked to. The new Jarett is confusing me. I dislike him and want him in equal measures. I want to slap his handsome face—and I want to suck on his lips like he did on mine earlier.

God, he tasted so good, bitter like pine needles and spicy like mulled wine, and underneath it all was his taste, an echo of his scent, like… like fresh tobacco and leather and sweet anise.

The throb between my legs returns with a vengeance, an aching need for something, someone.

For Jarett.

My eyes sting, and I stomp up to the house, open the gate and march up the porch to the front door. This is silly. I have to stop thinking about him and find another way to keep Sydney safe.

That deal with him is off. I shouldn’t have paid him in the first place. I mean, I practically dragged him up the stairs, but I wanted to touch him, press myself to him. I went a little crazy, seeing him banged up because of helping Sydney, and I just…

I just forgot for a moment why getting worried about him, caring for him is such a bad idea. Why being close to him is dangerous. I can’t seem to control myself around him, can’t be rational and see him for who he really is.

A bad boy, an arrogant man who uses girls and then throws them away.

I won’t let him use me that way, I won’t let a guy use me… not ever again.

The lights inside the house are out, and I ease the door open carefully. It tends to stick and then creak as it opens.

Someone is sitting in the dark, and I jump five feet off the ground before the shape becomes familiar.

“Merc? Good God, you scared the crap out of me.”

And, crap. My brother is the last person I want to see after what I did in that bathroom with Jarett.

He gets up and clicks on a lamp, giving me a sheepish smile. “Sorry. Didn’t expect you back so early.”

“It’s, like, one in the morning.”

“Exactly. Usually when you and Sydney go out, you don’t come back before dawn.”

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