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So if he isn’t ignoring me, then maybe he left his phone somewhere, or he’s asleep, in too deep sleep to hear the ringing.
Though he doesn’t sleep so deeply, does he? If he sleeps at all.
The knot in my chest tightens.
Don’t, I warm myself. Don’t panic again. No reason for that.
But I can’t stop my mind from running a million miles an hour.
He was at his sister’s house. Maybe Gigi was there. I shoot her a text, then bite my nails until Lin comes and glares at me, gesturing that I should stop.
So I stop, hop off the kitchen table where I was sitting and proceed to pace around the living room.
I can drive myself crazy with this.
Or, you know. I could gather my stuff and drive back to St. Louis. So what if I come off as paranoid to Merc’s family and Merc himself?
“Cos?” Lin is giving me concerned looks.
I’d be giving myself concerned looks if I could. Maybe I should go back to the bathroom mirror and practice them.
Just then my phone pings. ‘Call me,’ she writes.
I blow Lin a kiss to reassure her I’m okay and call.
Gigi replies on the first ring, with the not so reassuring question, “Is Merc with you?”
“No, Merc isn’t with me,” I say for what feels like the hundredth time. “I’m in Springfield with a friend. Where’s he?”
Gigi converses with someone in the background and then comes back, breathless. “Ross, our half-brother, called Octavia. Said Merc called him earlier, sounded drunk or on drugs, then stopped replying, and the line disconnected. And I was worried already. I tried calling him earlier because he left suddenly, and he’d been sick, and he won’t reply, and his bedroom door is locked.”
“Sick? What do you mean? Are you at his apartment?”
“Yes. JC says the door was locked when he arrived, but nobody answers. I can hear his phone ring from inside when I call.”
Oh shit.
“I’m scared,” she whispers. “We talked earlier today about his dreams, and something happened to him long ago, and oh God, Cosima…”
“I’m on my way. Open that door now. Find someone to open it, okay?”
“Jarett’s here. He’s working on it. Listen… JC says Merc takes sleeping pills sometimes.”
Of course. I hadn’t thought of that. He has trouble sleeping, so it makes sense, but if something has happened to him…
No. I refuse to even consider that option.
“Get the door open, and I’m on my way,” I repeat and hang up.
To do what exactly, I don’t know, and I’m glad she doesn’t ask. I have to be there, is all. And I will be.
“What is it?” Lin grumbles as I drag her out the door and down the stairs to her car. “Just tell me.”
“It’s Merc. Please, Lin, hurry!”
“I am hurrying! But what is the rush? What happened now?”
“Nobody knows. He’s locked himself up in his room and isn’t answering his phone, and…”
