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You can do this, I think I hear Ross’s laughing voice in my head. You’re strong. So much stronger than me. So much stronger than you think you are.
I’m just going to call my mom, for God’s sake. What am I afraid of?
It’s guilt, I guess. It weighs on me. Guilt that I didn’t do this sooner. That I didn’t try to find out the truth, to understand.
Oh God... I rub a hand over my face. This doesn’t feel right.
It doesn’t feel right, to do this on my own.
Taking a deep breath, I get up and go to knock on the door to Josh’s room. “Hey, little skunk! Open up. Come on, I know you can hear me. Take those earphones off!”
There’s a thump, and then his door swings open. Josh’s hair is sticking up in all directions. “What is it?”
I bustle inside without waiting for an invitation. “We’re going to call someone.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Sit.” I drop down on his bed, shoving aside his bunched-up covers and what looks like dirty T-shirts and socks—gross, God, teenage boys—to make space. “And close the door.”
He ignores that and drifts to stand by the bed, folding his arms over his chest. “What’s all this about?”
“You’ll see.” I dial the number and put it on speaker, my breathing going fast and shallow despite my efforts at calm. “Come on, come on...”
“Luna, what the hell are you up to? This is stupid, I just—”
The line connects with a soft click and a woman’s low voice says, “Hello. Who is this?”
Josh’s eyes go comically wide and he actually stumbles back a step. “Mom?” he whispers without a sound. He remembers her voice.
“It’s...” I have to swallow hard before I’m able to push more words out. “It’s Luna.”
A sharp intake of breath. “Luna... baby, is it really you?”
Sudden tears prick my eyes. “Yes. I’m here, with Josh.”
“My babies...”
Josh makes a choked sound. “Mom...”
“Josh, is that you? Oh my gosh, you sound so grown up.”
I’m about to start bawling, and I’m guessing she is, too. Josh has turned his face away, hiding from me.
“How are you?” I whisper.
“I’m good. So much better now.” Her laugh sounds almost like a sob. “And you? And your dad?”
“We’re okay. Can we see you?”
“I thought you didn’t want to see me,” she mutters. “Your dad told me so. Was he wrong?”
“It’s not Dad’s fault,” I rush to explain. “Or Josh’s. It’s all me.”
“Sweetie...”
“But you left,” I go on in a rush, needing to get the words out, and as I speak, anger returns briefly to heat my cheeks. “Why did you have to leave so far away? Josh was so little. It wasn’t fair to him.”
“Shut up, Luna,” Josh mutters, tugging on my arm. His cheeks are red. “I didn’t ask you to speak for me.”
