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“But he said he’ll do it to get better. Because he wants to be with you.”
My heart is pounding. “He said that? You heard it?”
“Seth was there. And one more thing: ask Jesse, ask Seth, ask anyone you want: Shane fell for you long ago. He hasn’t as much as glanced at another girl in the past year. Even after the mess with Jesse, he never did. He’s not interested in anyone else. Just you.”
Aww God. “I haven’t been with other guys, either. We had a fight the other day, and he walked away. I only wanted to talk about us, what is going on between us, and I screwed up. God, I’ve done that a lot these past few months. Years. Most of my life. I don’t want to screw this up. I really want to be with Shane.”
“Why did you fight?”
“Because I wish he’d tell me something. Claim me as his.”
“Does he know you want to be claimed? That you want to go steady? Telling him you love him doesn’t necessarily imply all this.” Manon reaches for the ice cream. “Especially coming from you.”
“Why would it be different coming from me?”
Manon won’t meet my eyes. “Because. You’ve never been seen with a guy for more than one night. And with everything Shane has been going through, maybe he’s only trying to protect himself.”
“From me?”
“From the possibility that you aren’t serious with him. That you say you love him, but won’t stick by it. Think, Cass. He pretty much admitted he’s getting worse. Thinks he’s going crazy. You’ve seen him at his worst, when he’s confused and lost. Why would he think you’d stick around him of all people?”
“He thinks I’m easy,” I whisper, a lump in my throat and my ears burning. “Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”
“No. that’s not it.” She sighs. “Cass, you’re the sweetest person I know.”
I start shaking my head. “Not true.”
“It is, too. You make mistakes, but not because you want to hurt people. You feel deeply, you stand by your friends. Heck, you were there for me when I needed you, when I was a mess because I didn’t know what to do with Seth. And whenever you’re around, Shane smiles. He smiles, Cass, when I thought the only expression he was capable of was that dark scowl. You’re good for him. If you really love him, don’t give up on him now.”
“Manon, I—”
Her phone starts buzzing, and she leans over the couch to fish it out of her bag. “One sec. it’s Seth.”
“Of course it is.” I make kissy faces at her just to piss her off, and she waves a hand at me to shush me.
She frowns, then the blood drains from her face. “What? Is he okay?”
Frozen I sit there, a bad feeling spreading in my gut. After a while, I can’t stand it anymore and I grab her hand. “What happened?”
“We’ll be there,” she says into the phone and disconnects. When she looks at me, she has two dots of red on her cheekbones. “Let’s go. I’ll tell you on the way.”
***
“You know when Shane told us that he thought someone attacked him at the construction site?”
“You mean when we eavesdropped on him talking to Zane?”
“Yes,” Manon says unrepentantly as she starts the engine. “And how he got better since he was fired and stayed away from that place?”
“Fewer flashbacks. He said something of the sort.” It’s cold inside the car and I crank up the heater. “So?”
“Shane thought he was turning paranoid, and Seth told him he should see a therapist. The therapist told him he’d made bad associations in his mind with the place for some reason, and that he was better off finding another job anyway.”
“And the point of this conversation is?” The bad feeling lingers, twisting my stomach. “Where are we going and what’s going on? It has to do with Shane, doesn’t it?” I nail her with my gaze. “You have to tell me. Did he have a bad flashback? Did he hurt himself? Spill, Manon.”
But she doesn’t speak for long moments, driving through town, chewing on her lower lip. I’m this close to pulling the handbrake and having us fishtail on the frozen street, just to get her to talk, when she glances at me.
“We were wrong, all of us. There was someone out to get him at that construction site, and today Shane went back to return his gear and he was attacked. He’s okay,” she rushes to say when I flinch and slam my hand into the dashboard. “He’s okay.”
