Page 54 of Killing Monica


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“Ugh,” Pandy groaned. She’d forgotten about Meghan in her brief excitement over Jonny. “See? This is why I’m thinking I shouldn’t even go on this stupid date. If Meghan is upset, it’s not worth it.”

“She’s not upset,” Suzette broke in. “In fact, she’s just the opposite. In fact,” she repeated, “we all agree that you and Jonny might not be a terrible thing. Meghan wanted me to be sure to tell you that while Jonny wasn’t right for her, it doesn’t mean he isn’t right for someone. And why shouldn’t that someone be you?”

The question startled Pandy, enough so that it caused her to pause for several seconds while she considered which version of “Who cares?” Suzette might understand. The pause gave Suzette an opening; she blurted out: “We’re coming over right now to discuss it.”

She hung up before Pandy could object.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, Pandy opened the door to find Suzette, Portia, and Meghan standing there, each clutching a bottle of white wine.

From the looks of them, Pandy guessed they’d been at one of those Upper East Side bistros when Suzette had called.

“Hello, my darlings,” Pandy said. “Please tell me someone has brought cigarettes.”

“Only five,” Meghan said.

“Give me one,” Pandy said quickly. “I’m celebrating.”

“What are you going to wear?” Portia asked breathlessly.

“I’m going to wear sleeveless white wool and put my hair up into a bun. For shoes, I’m thinking an off-white textured kitten heel. Simple jewelry.”

“Sleeveless white wool? On a date? That’s not very sexy,” Portia said.

“Oh, I’m not talking about the date,” Pandy continued blithely. “Didn’t Suzette tell you about my contract? It’s a huge deal, so I’m heading up to Henry’s office first. He’s going to take photographs of me signing the papers. I’ll meet Jonny afterward.”

She went into the kitchen to pour them each a nice tall glass of white wine.

Why was everyone so excited about Jonny and not her good fortune, she wondered, removing four slightly warm glasses from the dishwasher. They all knew how important her career was to her; they were also well acquainted with Jonny’s questionable reputation. An image of the million dollars—two big gold dollar signs flashing in Monica’s pupils—came to mind, and she smiled. In the shadow of the money, Jonny’s allure had faded and now seemed slightly tarnished.

Lining up the glasses, she wondered why she was even bothering to meet Jonny at all. Exiting the kitchen, she handed each of her friends a drink.

“Listen,” she began. “Now that I’ve—” She considered bringing up the million dollars again, but thought better of it. “Now that I’ve had a bit of success, I’m suddenly realizing that I really don’t need a man. In fact, you could say that my career is my husband. Although unlike a man, it’s always there for me.”

“Oh my lord. Don’t you ever say that. Especially to a man,” Meghan scolded, as if Pandy were a child.

“Now, listen,” Portia said gently, looking at Suzette and Meghan, who both nodded. “You haven’t had a proper boyfriend for three years. You’re beginning to look—”

“What?”

“Desperate.” Meghan sighed grimly.

“Oh, no.” Pandy groaned playfully. “Are we really having this conversation? Again? I had to have it ten years ago. Am I going to have to have it every ten years? I get it, okay? Maybe I never will be with a man again. But maybe I don’t want to be.”

“Oh, pish,” Suzette said. “Of course you do.”

“Please.” Pandy put down her glass. “I appreciate your concerns, but I don’t want you to be disappointed. Look at Jonny’s record: He’s slept with at least a hundred women, but hasn’t stayed with anyone for longer than two weeks. Not surprisingly, he has never managed to get married, although he, too, is nearly forty.

“Now me. I’ve had several serious boyfriends, all lasting two to three years. I’ve practically lived with some of them. And after two years, what happens? I get bored. Not with them, but with the sex. I’m sorry, but after you’ve had sex with the same man hundreds of times—”

“You know most women don’t feel that way, right?” Portia said nervously.

“I have to agree with Pandy,” Meghan said. “It does get boring.”

“It doesn’t if you’re really in love,” Suzette said. “And that, I’m afraid, is your problem,” she said victoriously to Pandy. “You’ve never been in love!”

“You’re a love virgin,” Portia said. “You’re nearly forty years old, and you’ve never really been in love.”

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