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Only after I have dinner with a really hot guy who already told me I’m not his type, and then I kiss him, and then he tells me to stop and I have misinterpreted the signals. “No.” I shake my head. “Not usually.”
He nods and walks slowly toward me. I take a step back, and put the jelly back in the fridge. I turn back to him and wince. “I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.”
His face scrunches up in question. “What?”
“When I kissed you.” I close my eyes tightly for a second, and then open them. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
He laughs again. “The only part of me you made uncomfortable is my dick. And that’s the best kind of uncomfortable in the world. We guys love to be uncomfortable. My dick would call it more happy than uncomfortable, actually.” He adjusts his pants again. Then he takes two steps closer to me and we’re suddenly breathing the same air. “And that’s because he really likes hot girls who kiss me.” He laughs. “Don’t worry. He’ll get over it. After a long cold shower. Or two.” His eyes narrow. “You thought I slowed it down because I was uncomfortable?”
I cough into my fist, trying to move the lump in my throat. “Weren’t you?”
“No.” He stares into my eyes.
“Then why…” But I shake my head and start to walk away.
He gently grabs my elbow and turns me to face him. “I slowed it down because it was going too fast.”
“We just met,” I rush to say.
He shakes his head and lays his finger over my lips. I want to tilt my head, bite it, and then see what happens, but I resist the urge.
“I wanted to savor it.” He shrugs. “That’s all.”
“What?”
“I wanted to make it last. I didn’t want it to be over. But then you jumped up like your ass was on fire.”
My ass was on fire. “I did not!”
“Yes, you did.” He’s grinning and it’s pissing me off.
He grabs the front of my shirt in a gentle but strong grip and pulls me against him. His arm wraps around me, holding me snug. He looks down into my face. And then he kisses me. His lips touch mine gently, but only for a moment. After the first two seconds, he sucks my lower lip between his and nibbles it gently, abrading just enough to turn me on, and then he licks across it to soothe the sting. His tongue enters my mouth and I have to grab hold of his shoulders so I can stay up on my wobbly legs.
I have never been kissed like this before. I might be a virgin, but I have shared more than a few kisses. And done a bunch of other stuff. Anything short of popping the proverbial cherry and I’ve done it, but this is different. It’s hot and soothing and disturbing and amazing and…I have to pull back.
I rest my forehead against his chest and take deep breaths.
“You okay?” he asks, using his voice. It’s more breath than sound, but I can understand him. I nod without lifting my face and he palms the back of my head. “I really, really like you,” he says.
I look up at him. “But I’m not your type, remember?”
“I think you just proved that I’ve been completely wrong about my type until I met you.” He brushes my hair behind my ear with gentle fingers. Then he steps back and starts to sign. “With that said, I just got out of a relationship and I don’t know…” He stops to scratch his nose.
I stop him with a quick motion. “It’s okay.”
He goes to the sink and cleans up his plate, and puts it in the dishwasher after rinsing it off. And he puts mine in there too.
“Thank you for dinner,” I say.
“You’re welcome.” He looks around my apartment. “Thank you for letting me come over.”
I nod, suddenly uncomfortable. He kissed me and now he’s leaving. What did I expect? For him to bang my brains out on our first date?
That kiss… That kiss was like no kiss I ever had before. It was…everything.
When I was a little girl, my mother would play dolls with me, and I would try to figure out if Barbie should go on a date with Ken or with GI Joe, and she told me Barbie would know which one she should date by the way he makes her feel. But Barbie never had a problem making her choice. Do I get a choice? Or do I wait?
I don’t know what to do.
