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I stood in the doorway as her grandma pulled off her shoes, and then she climbed into bed with her and held her tightly. Evie shivered and drew her grandma’s arms around her.
I left there feeling like the worst sort of idiot. I’d put her through that. It was my fault she was so unhappy. And I’d never forgive myself for what I’d done to her.
10
Evie
“I don’t remember any of that last part,” I say quietly. I remember being terrified, but I don’t remember Grady sitting and rocking me or holding me in his lap. I don’t remember any of that. I feel like it had to have happened to somebody else. “Are you pulling my leg?”
He shakes his head. “No, it was real,” he says gently. “It happened.” He shakes his head. “I felt terrible for putting you through that. I should have known better.”
“Well, I’ll have you know that I can now watch a scary movie without peeing my pants.” I dip into a playful curtsy. But he’s still stuck in the memory of that night.
“I’d never been so scared,” he says. “You just sat there rocking back and forth, and you wouldn’t even look at me.”
“You carried me out,” I remind him.
He nods but looks away like the idea of it embarrasses him.
“Thank you for taking care of me.” My voice is sincere, and the timbre of it must startle him.
“Don’t go getting all sentimental on me. I won’t know what to do with you if you’re not sniping at me.” He motions toward the truck. “You can turn it off. It should be charged now.”
I reach in and turn my truck off, still reeling from the depth of emotion that came up with his story. “I was so in love with you,” I suddenly blurt out. My face gets hot, even though it happened years ago.
He quirks a brow at me. “The feeling was mutual, Clifford.”
I laugh, and the spell is broken.
While he starts up the tractor to place the last few sections of hay bales, I take out my phone and text Barbara-Claire.
Me: Do you remember the night I got so scared in the hay maze?
Bee-Cee: Yep. Why?
Me: What happened that night? I don’t remember all of it.
Bee-Cee: It was a long time ago.
Me: What do you remember?
Bee-Cee: I remember that was the first night I realized how much Grady loved you.
Me: Why do you say that?
Bee-Cee: Because he worked so hard to be sure you were safe and protected. A person only acts like that when they really love someone.
Me: Why didn’t you tell me?
Bee-Cee: I thought you knew!
I didn’t know. I hadn’t known. I’d wondered every day how Grady felt about me, and I’d wanted to know if he liked me as much as I liked him. I needed him like I needed air to breathe, but I just couldn’t tell if he liked me the same way. When Grady and I had stopped talking completely, Barbara-Claire had given me what-for. She’d yelled at me, and then I’d stopped talking to Barbara-Claire too for a while. Eventually, I’d made up with Barbara-Claire. I’d shown up at her house bawling my eyes out, asking her to forgive me. But I never made up with Grady. And I still don’t know why not.
“What are you thinking about?” Grady yells from atop the tractor. His eyes scan my face.
I smile at him, but it’s a perfunctory smile. There’s no humor in it. “Nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me, Clifford,” he teases. He raises and lowers the claw on the front of the tractor. “I will scoop your ass up and dump you in the lake.” He glares playfully at me.
