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She shook her head.
“I’ll drive you to the airport.”
She shook her head again. Then she stood up on her tiptoes and bit the base of my ear, nipping it gently with her teeth. Heat shot straight to my groin. “You think Lynn would mind if we did it one last time?” she asked.
“One last time?” What did that mean?
Charlie went to some dangerous places. I always worried she wouldn’t come back alive, but if I never, truly, got to see her again, I’d miss her.
“Just in case I don’t come back,” she whispered. She stared into my eyes, and I saw hurt looking back at me.
“Are you here to tell me goodbye?” I asked, taking a step back from her. No. I wouldn’t allow it. I couldn’t.
She shook her head. “I don’t know yet.”
“What do you know?”
She shrugged. “Nothing yet.”
“When will you know?”
She shrugged again.
I couldn’t help but feel like this whole conversation had been one big riddle. “You want to fuck me?” I asked. The hairs on her arms stood up.
She reached between us, going for my crotch where no one could see her, and she grabbed it in her palm, squeezing gently. I was hard. I had been ever since she’d nibbled my ear. “Yes.”
“This isn’t the last time,” I warn.
“If you say so,” she sang out.
She turned toward the elevator as I drank the last few swallows of my beer. Hers was half full, so I tipped it back too. I tensed when the sweet flavor of iced tea hit my tongue. I hated iced tea. Why was Charlie pretending it was beer?
I didn’t have time to mull it over. She was almost to the elevator. I followed her. Her steps were precise, like she was modulating all of them. Left, right, left. Left, right, left.
We got to the room, and she stepped in before me. I turned and pressed her against the wall, my lips searching for hers. Suddenly, she slapped me. It stung like a sumbitch. I rubbed the side of my face. “Too fast?” I asked, opening and closing my jaw to ease the sting.
“I don’t want to, Mason. It’s wrong.” Her breaths fell harsh and heavy, and her eyes sparkled with anticipation.
She stared into my eyes. So that was how we’d play this. Okay. I was in it to win it.
I grabbed her by her shoulders, and swung her onto the bed. I landed on top of her, my thighs spread around her, holding her still. “Safe word?” I asked, my lips hovering over hers.
She shook her head, trembling beneath me. “I don’t want one.”
“I won’t continue without one.”
“Baby,” she whispered. “That’s my safe word.”
Charlie didn’t use terms of endearment, not when we did what we did. So if she ever used a word like baby, sweetie, or honey, I’d know something was wrong, even if we didn’t decide that ahead of time.
“Baby,” I repeated, and I bit her lower lip, tasting blood. She flinched.
“Yes.”
“Okay.” I took a deep breath. What I was about to do to her would hurt me, but it was what she needed. She needed to give up control. And I needed it to be with me, always me, only me.
“Do you remember the first time we did this?” she asked.
