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“I would have come back to you.”
“Billy said the same thing. He didn’t. You chose to risk your life and die over choosing me. You made your decision clear that night.”
“I asked you to come with me. We could have built a—”
“No we couldn’t have! Why would you think I would just leave? Uproot my life for you to follow some insane idea that you needed to join the Peace Corps and save the human race? We had plans. Or maybe I only did. Maybe I was just naive and you had planned on leaving me all along.”
Liam’s jaw tightens. He pulls a hand from his pocket and points a finger at me. “You knew damn well where I stood. I begged you. You wouldn’t listen to a damn thing I said.”
“Because my options were to go with you and risk you dying or wait for you with the same possible outcome. I refused to do that.”
“And don’t I know it.” His curt statement hurts. I know damn well he’s referring to the letter he left me that night after our fight. Asking me to come with him. If not, to at least see him off and give him the strength in knowing I’ll be there when he returned. If I didn’t come, my intentions would be clear.
Liam shipped out three days later. And I never showed.
“But I guess it all worked out for you in the end. Instead of coming with me—shit, even waiting—you ran away. Seems I did you a favor. Holls with the perfect life. The perfect job. The perfect man. Turning your back on me gave you everything you wanted.”
“Fuck you.”
“You ain’t mine to fuck anymore, Holls.”
I flinch at his words. They cut deep into old wounds I’ve fought for years to heal. But I refuse to let him break me all over again. My pride won’t allow it. I straighten my shoulders, hiding the raw emotions he’s threatening to expose and reply in anger. “Damn right, I’m not yours. You gave that right up. And you know what? I am living my best life. All the things I’ve ever wanted are at the tip of my fingers because I wasn’t naïve and didn’t wait for you.”
He reaches out and wraps his hand around my neck. I suck in a hard breath as his mouth slams against mine in a bruising kiss. I want to fight back. Push him off. Have him never touch me again. But my body refuses. I lose all sense of reality. My arms go up, and I dig my nails into the back of his neck, clawing at his skin. I kiss him back, punishing him in the same way. Brutal. Painful. Savage. Neither of us holds back as we fight for control. To get closer. Deeper. To fill the hole left inside us five years ago.
He pulls away, pressing kisses to my chin and down my neck, sucking on my flesh. I arch my head back, and a shameless moan falls off my lips as his teeth nip at my skin. It becomes too much. I slide my fingers into his hair and tug, needing his lips back on mine. I kiss him hard, trying to erase the memories. The years I’ve spent feeling empty inside. The years I’ve spent trying to create the perfect life. A ruse—a ploy to make myself think I’m happy.
Suddenly, there’s a wetness between our lips, and I realize I’m crying. I remember him walking away. His absence. The endless number of times I broke down and begged for my life to be different. To go back and tell him I would wait for him. Just to have a single moment more with him. All the suffering I endured because of his selfishness.
I tear my lips off his and shove out of his embrace. Without thinking, I raise my hand and slap him across his face. His heavy breathing matches the pounding inside my chest. “I don’t belong to you anymore. I haven’t for a very long time. Leave me alone.”
I dart out of the alley and, without a single glance at the most beautiful Christmas tree anyone will ever see, run home.
“Come on, Holls. Give me an idea.”
“No. It takes the fun out of it. You’re just going to have to guess.”
“If you want me to guess, I’m going to get you a pet hamster.”
I laugh, slapping at his chest. “Don’t you dare.”
“Then give me an idea. I wanna make sure I get you the best Christmas present ever.”
“But you already did. You gave me you.” I press my lips to his. They’re soft. A perfect fit against mine. He scoops me up by the butt, positioning me on his lap, and kisses me back. “My parents are going to be home soon.”
“Then we better hurry.” He winks and pulls me back in for the most breathtaking kiss.
