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“You don’t have to do anything so elaborate. Some toast and juice will be more than enough for me.”
She was acting so excited, I thought I’d feel bad if I told her I already ate before coming, so I went along with her. Luckily, I was able to talk down her plans to do something simple instead. In five minutes, we were seated at the dining table, eating.
“So, how long has it been?” Wendy asked conversationally. “Over a year, right? You should have kept in touch.”
I rolled my eyes. “Says the one that was so into her loving relationship with her boyfriend that she forgot she had friends.”
“I did, though,” she complained. “But I couldn’t get a hold of you. Joshua mentioned you lost your phone?”
I nodded. “That did happen, but only sometime around last year. You didn’t try to contact me before that, or you would have gotten me. But I’m not angry about it, or anything. The two of you worked out. Unless you ended up with someone else?”
Wendy giggled. “No, not someone else. It’s the same guy, and you’re right, we’re incredibly happy together. Maybe you’ll get to meet him sometime, but he always goes out to work early, and I’ve been taking a break to take care of Danny.”
She started chatting about her partner, and I nodded along with a smile on my face, though I felt an ache in my chest. Watching her, a young mother with her partner by her side, was enough to remind me of the differences between our cases. I was also a young mother, but unlike Wendy, I had gone through everything, from the pregnancy to the birth, to the first few of my baby’s months alone. Well, I had my parents with me, but I didn’t have the child’s other parent.
I used to think it was all fine. It had been my own decision after all, and regretting it now would be a bit of a waste. What was the use of regret, when it couldn’t turn back time? But I felt it.
Would I have been this happy if I’d just come clean to Joshua about everything?
Maybe. Or maybe, his mom would have found some way to come between us. I didn’t think she disliked me so much that she would turn away her grandson, but she might push me to the side, take my baby, and have Joshua raise him with the woman she had chosen for him.
I knew he wouldn’t have just gone along with it, but I never told him, and it was because I didn’t want to take the risk.
“You’re happy with your life right now, aren’t you?” I asked when Wendy stopped talking.
She nodded. “Definitely. What’s there to not be happy about? Besides having some time to myself now and then, I have all that I want.” Her eyes narrowed shrewdly at me. “And what about you, Alessandra? Because we didn’t talk before, I only heard about you and my cousin breaking up long after it happened. It’s been over a year since then. Are you happy?”
I looked down at the table and pursed my lips. “Why don’t we wash the dishes first? And clean up the kitchen a little. It shouldn’t be long before the little guy wakes up.”
Quickly, I got up and started clearing the table, practically running away, but she was right on my tail. I put everything in the sink, but before I could begin to wash, she grabbed me by the arm, and I froze.
“Don’t even think of hiding from me, Alessandra. You know that doesn’t work on me.”
I stayed frozen for a moment, then sighed and turned to look at her with a miserable expression.
“Don’t make me say it, okay? If you know me so much, then you can guess.”
“I don’t know what to think right now, and that is the problem. I might not have had your number, but going by what Joshua has told me, the two of you were having trouble before the breakup, and not once did you ever come to me to talk things out. I doubt it was for my sake, Alessandra, so be frank with me. Okay?”
The look in her eyes was different from just a moment ago. Her eyes were earnest, their gaze practically piercing into me.
“Why don’t we go to the living room and sit down to have a little talk, hmm?”
It was veiled as a suggestion, her voice gentle, but her gaze didn’t change, and I knew it was more of a command.
I didn’t fight as she tugged me toward the living room. She pushed me into the couch then disappeared back into the kitchen. When she came back, she had a carton of juice and two glasses on a tray. Silently, she set them down on the coffee table, poured juice for the both of us, then handed me one glass. She picked her own up; then her intense gaze was back on me.
Dammit.
Almost immediately, I started leaking. The uncomfortable feeling in my chest burst out, and I could feel the tears coming out of nowhere and trickling down my cheeks. Wendy’s gaze didn’t waver.
Ah, I realized. Since I chose to let go of Joshua, since long before that even… this is the first time I’m crying.
“I have a baby,” I confessed. “I’m not playing nanny for someone else’s kid; he’s my son. And Joshua is the father.”
Wendy sighed but didn’t look surprised. “You know, the moment he told me, I was sure. You, of all people, give up on being a lawyer to become a nanny? You wouldn’t do that even if you were desperate and heartbroken over the breakup. Why didn’t you tell him?”
