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Maybe I shouldn’t… I wrote.
It was half tease, but the other half of it was me worrying. I had made my decision, and I was the kind of woman that, once I decided on something, it wouldn’t be easy to make me turn back. There would always be that worry, though, whether I was doing the right thing or not.
I don’t have anything urgent coming up, and it doesn’t have to be during a weekday, anyway. Don’t you have your job as a nanny?
I winced. Somehow, I’d forgotten about all of that little lie. And now, since he’d told Wendy about me being a nanny, as far as he knew, I’d be spending some time two days every week at Wendy’s to babysit when I wasn’t with my other employer’s child.
You’re right. I’m busy all week. Unlike you, it seems.
It’s not like I’m slacking off, was the immediate, defensive reply. I don’t have anything urgent, and I can delegate just fine. But that’s not what we’re talking about here.
Then what, I wrote.
Alessandra. I want to see you again. If you could wear a dress like the one from last time, I don’t care what we do or where we go. I’ll warn you right now, though. If I see you, I might not hold back from kissing you again.
I gasped at that. Once he mentioned it, my mind went back to that night, and I relieved the sensations of our kiss.
It had been a little embarrassing when I found the time to think about it. Since we had been right on the street, making out like horny teenagers where everyone could see. People probably had to walk around us because we were obstructing the way, too. Lucky for me, no one I knew ever went to that place, or the news would have somehow made it back to my parents.
For obvious reasons, the moment I found out I was pregnant, I stopped drinking, though I didn’t do much of it, to begin with. Then throughout the pregnancy, birth, and the first few months of my son’s life, I never thought to drink at home.
Besides, my parents weren’t precisely drinkers either, so aside from a few bottles of wine, there was no alcohol in the house. But, even if it wasn’t anyone I knew, strangers seeing that still made me feel a little embarrassed.
Still, it had been hot. When he kissed me, I wanted to drag him home with me. Not to introduce him to his son, but to pull him to my bedroom so I could toss him to the bed and ride him. I could remember the last time we were together before the break-up. I was stressed back then, too, between exams, Joshua’ mom, and Rachel. When we both managed to find free time for each other, we stayed inside for a whole twenty-four hours, barely leaving the bed.
I wouldn’t mind revisiting those memories, but I had to keep clearheaded. I was pretty good at controlling my impulses when I put my mind to it.
My phone vibrated with more texts.
Well? Are you interested? Because you have to know that I am.
My heart wavered. We could meet, but it didn’t necessarily have to lead to anything, right? I’d already asked him for some time. He hadn't outright said it was okay, but I knew he wouldn’t bother contacting me if he no longer wanted anything to do with me. And of course, because I liked complicating my own life, I’d told him there was someone else without clarifying that I wasn’t interested in another man. Not another grown-up man, anyway.
I’m busy on weekends too, you know?
Just one day, he coaxed. It doesn’t even have to be the whole day; even an hour is excellent. If the weekend is more convenient for you, then I’ll go along with whatever works for you.
I wanted to go and meet him again. The desire hit me hard, and I was typing out my response before I could think too much about it.
Sure! I can meet you on Saturday, but you’ll have to be responsible for whatever it is we’re going to do, okay?
Definitely! I’ll see you Saturday.
After his parting texts, he probably went back to work. I put my phone down and tried to juggle Danny and work again, but my mind was too distracted for me to do both at the same time. So I dropped work, and went to play with my baby instead, already feeling excited for Saturday.
Chapter Seven
Joshua
I woke up early on Saturday. I was too excited, like a teenager going on his first date with his long-time crush. I’d make fun of myself for the over-eagerness if it didn’t remind me so much of our actual first date back in high school.
Of course, a lot has changed now.
Back then, we were only kids. The best we could do for a date was going out to a movie, then to a café afterward, and out for a walk, before we both had to go our separate ways. We started dating before I could drive, so at the end of our first date, we had to get picked up by our parents. Though technically, she was picked up by her dad, while I was picked up by one of the family’s drivers.
Everything had changed since then.
Well, not everything.
