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I’d told my friends about t
he exam but only told a few about the pregnancy. After all, we didn’t have all our friends in common, Joshua even had friends I’d never heard of or met before. I had kept the secret of the pregnancy from the people that I thought would tell Joshua about it.
Not that I intended to keep it from him for forever, that wouldn’t be fair. I didn’t know when would be the right time to tell him, or what he would do.
“Why become a nanny?” he asked, tilting his head slightly. “It’s still a bit of a shock that you went that route. Are you giving up on being a lawyer?”
“Of course not,” I said immediately. “You know how important it is to me.”
Studying law wasn’t easy. Passing the bar exam would be the hardest of it, but there was nothing natural about it. No one would try it out as a joke, and I didn’t get as far as I did to give up. There just hadn't been much of choice. I was too stressed out to study thoroughly for my finals, so I failed. In the end, I decided to wait for Danny to be born before I got my affairs in order and went back.
“I’m just doing this to fill the gap right now,” I confessed. “I thought I needed some time away from my studies, if I just threw myself right back in, I might fail again, and it doesn’t hurt to raise a bit of cash. I intend to go back and finish law school eventually. You know it’s been my dream for the longest time.”
Joshua chuckled. “Yeah, I still remember. You didn’t even pick until our senior year of high school, you wanted to try all sorts of careers before, and then out of nowhere, law was your passion.”
I bit down on my lip. I could feel my heart waver, but I forced myself to be strong. Joshua and I shared too many memories together. We had been friends for so many years before becoming lovers, and it wasn’t something so easy to erase. I had been so busy with school and heartbreak, then with Danny. I hadn't had time to prepare myself, so being this close to him was dangerous.
Danny made a sound of discontent, coming to my rescue and making me look down. His face was scrunching up, his fists waving in the air, legs shifting under his blanket. He was unhappy we had stopped for so long already, and I smiled at him.
“Sorry, baby boy,” I cooed. “You’re getting a little impatient, huh? Don’t worry; we’re going now.”
Would he recognize his son?
I was both worried and curious about this. Joshua was tall, blond and blue-eyed, like both his parents. I was a little on the short and slightly curvy side, with brown hair, and green eyes. Joshua family genes were active, and our son had come out with blond hair and blue eyes, just like his father, though my parents did say some of his features resembled mine.
If Joshua moved close enough and saw him, would he be filled with recognition? This was another issue that I didn’t know where I stood. I wanted to keep it a secret, because...
You can't have it both ways, Alessandra.
“I’m sorry,” I said with an apologetic smile. “Danny gets fussy, so I brought him out for a walk hoping to calm him down. I don’t have long; I’m not supposed to keep him out for so long.”
“Oh,” he said, and I thought he looked a little disappointed. “I guess you have to go, then. But there is one thing.”
He smiled again, and I felt apprehension in my chest. He looked entirely too happy.
“I’m glad to know you haven’t given up on your studies yet,” he started. “But it’s also good for me that you’re a nanny right now because Wendy is desperate for a nanny.”
Oh, no.
“Would you mind helping out?” He ran a hand through his hair as he chuckled. “I brought the little tyke out because she was busy and didn’t have anyone to leave him with. He’s her precious baby so that she won’t leave him with just anyone, you know? I can't keep doing this, and she already knows you so that you would be perfect!”
“Sure,” I said. “I would love to!”
What the hell am I saying!
“Could you give me your number, then? I tried out your old one only to find it was disconnected.”
“Ah, that’s because I lost my phone sometime last year. I got it replaced. Let me give you my new number.”
“Okay.”
Joshua pulled out his phone, and she read the digits out for him. He saved the number, then called to make sure it was the right one. She pulled her ringing phone from her purse, and he finally looked satisfied.
“Thanks, Alessandra,” he said with a grin. “I’ll tell Wendy to give you a call when she can. I’ll see you later!”
I watched him turn and walk away after his parting shot, knowing that there was a chance that I really would be seeing him later.
Crap!
