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I hummed and looked around. We had an old clock on the wall, and it took me a few seconds to figure out the time.
“I want to head out soon before it’s lunch. But I will be back before tonight. I left some more milk for Danny just in case.”
Storing breast milk was a little awkward for me, mostly because of the process. I wasn’t interested in using a pump, so I had to do it by hand, and I used a tutorial I’d learned online. At least it worked. I’d been advised by my doctor that it was best to keep Danny breastfed, so I wouldn’t be trying formula on him for a while. Besides, it felt uncomfortable sometimes how massive my chest was when I didn’t feed Danny, and I’d had to run out on Joshua more than a few times because I was leaking.
It was just one of the things about motherhood you didn’t hear about until it was happening to you. Mom gave me tips on how to deal with it, but that just made things more awkward for me.
“Be sure to bring that young man over for dinner sometime,” Mom said, as she took Danny from me. “After you finally tell him everything.”
She had an eyebrow arched like she was asking a question, and I felt my face warm up.
Crap. She knew I was meeting Joshua.
“I’ll think about it, Mom. Promise.”
She smiled. “Good. Now, go ahead and don’t be late.”
“I’ll be leaving now. Bye Mom, bye baby.”
I pecked a kiss on both their cheeks, then got up to find a jacket and my shoes.
Joshua and I hadn't decided on any meeting today, so there was nothing to be late to, but I was thinking of asking him out to lunch. It was a weekday, which meant he was at the office, and we usually met after work hours for him during the weekdays. But I had nothing to do, and Mom was more than happy to spend time with her grandson.
He had no idea I was going to meet him, either. I planned to go to his office to surprise him.
I could pick the restaurant we go to, I thought to myself. And I could explain everything over lunch.
I had to walk for a bit before I managed to hail a taxi. I was feeling nervous about this. I had always intended to let him know, I just couldn’t come up with the when and the how, but that was procrastinating. There would never be a good time to come out with this sort of news.
More than anything, even my fears, he deserved to know, and I wanted him to know.
Hopefully, he wouldn’t be so mad at me that he stopped speaking to me.
The entire ride to his office, I kept my eyes on my fidgeting hands in my lap. I kept wording and rewording how I would say it in my mind. Like, ‘hey, guess what, I have a baby, and you’re a dad,’ or, ‘remember that time when we were teenagers, and we thought about what our family would be like, well surprise, we’re parents.’ Not to mention plenty of other stupid variations.
Maybe it would be best to deliver it in stages. Start with; he made a mistake assuming I was a nanny and it was wrong of me to lie. Then go from there.
“Ma’am? We’re here.”
I looked up and realized the taxi had stopped.
“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t realize.”
I went through my purse and got out the cash for the ride that I handed over to the driver. Then, I stepped out of the car and stopped in front of Joshua’ office building. It was the first time I’d stopped by alone, and I’d only come by one other time with Joshua when he forgot something at the office. I felt intimidated for several different reasons; the building was significant, Joshua would be somewhere close to the top, and there seemed to be a lot of people. We had been by in the evening before, but it was the middle of the day, and people were busy at work.
No one looked at me as I walked inside. Luckily, the lady at the reception desk remembered me from before and allowed me to go up without alerting Joshua.
I remembered the way. I just had to hit the third highest button on the elevator, and the whole of it was his floor. I’d asked before what was in the higher levels, and he’d just told me it was company secrets. I didn’t pry after that.
The elevator ride seemed to take no time at all. I took a deep breath as the car came to a stop, and the door opened. I went to step outside, only to look up, and freeze.
“Oh, Alessandra! I didn’t expect to see you here!”
Joshua smiled at me, looking surprised but pleased. I would have answered his smile, if not for the woman standing beside him. She was beautiful, with blonde hair tied in an elegant bun, deep blue eyes and a sophisticated skirt suit, in heels that put her an inch shorter than Joshua, she looked just perfect standing beside him.
Rachel.
“I…wanted to surprise you,” I admitted after a second, faking a smile. “I wanted to stop by and see you for something speedy, but I didn’t expect you to be with Rachel.”
