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I was sweating and half-naked in the hall. The one that I held the single moms’ group. The one that I had been running for the last two years. And now Hunter had just come back into my life again. As if nothing mattered. As if we could just pick up where we started from. Things didn’t work out that way. Life wasn’t like that.
I pushed him away from me.
“Hunter, you can’t just do this.” He moved and then I reached to get my bra off the floor. Then I looked for my shirt, which he had thrown on the table.
“Nia, we need to talk.”
That was where he was wrong. He pulled up his pants, but I wasn’t fast enough. Shit, I was never fast enough. I didn’t want to do this, I never did. He was the sports guy. The one that had all the girls after him. And I was just plain Nia. The one that lived in a trailer, and who everyone in his family thought that he was too good for me. I was just the wrong girl that he took pity on and let me hang out with him.
I was going to show them all, that what we had was love. I was the girl that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Until that day, until I made that stupid decision and I’ve lived with it.
“What we had was nice.”
“Nice?”
He was holding my hand and wanting me to look at him. To say something about it being the best sex that I’ve ever had. Every single time with him felt amazing, but I couldn’t stroke his ego. I had a son at home. One that I had to look after and between working nights at the call center and mom looking after Alex when I was at the meeting, I had nothing to talk about nor time to do so.
Not with him.
Not now.
“Hunter, you managed to spoil my single moms’ group,” I was smiling and trying to brush away the moment that we had. Make him move on once and for all. I was trash. His mom had told me that. She didn’t need to tell me what I already knew about myself.
It was why I tried to dress smart every day to make myself feel better. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes I just felt like a fraud.
“You’ve got money. I’ve got none. You’ve got a daughter. I’ve got a son. We’ve got nothing in common.”
I could see in his eyes that he was shocked by my revelation. His silence and lack of protest told me that he wouldn’t say anything. I tried to put my hair in some order, and then the caretaker walked in.
“Everyone’s gone already. That was quick,” the caretaker smiled as he gave me a wave.
Looking at Hunter, I raised an eyebrow and smiled, the fake one. The one that told him that I wasn’t bothered, that what just happened was nice, but it certainly wasn’t going to happen again.
“We need to get out of here.”
That he was pissed was evident as he slowly did up his belt. He did it while focusing his eyes on me. Those same blue eyes that used to reassure me that we would be together forever and I believed him. He had a future, and he used to tell me about it all the time, and I felt part of the equation for a while.
I fought back the tears thinking about how he told me that he had forgiven me and understood my desperate act. He never did, because there was only one person that he ever cared about and it wasn`t me.
It was himself.
He took a deep breath and said, “Thanks for the fuck!”
Loud enough for Mr. Wile to hear and horrible enough for the tears that I had been holding on to for so long, to let loose. He left me standing there like an orphan on open day in the orphanage. All the other kids were picked, and they were going to be adopted. I was the only one that was left. Because no one wanted me. I wasn’t pretty enough or good enough to be chosen, but I didn’t want any man. I just wanted him. And I knew that once again I had done acted stupidly and I was sure that just like last time, he didn’t want me.
I picked up my bag and then thought about the stupid thing that I had done.
Mr. Wile smiled, “The noises you were making. I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”
I returned his smile, and then I realized exactly what he had said, the noises we were making. So, Mr. Wile knew what we were up to and as he winked at me, I wondered if he had just heard us, or if he had seen it too.
I started to pick up my pace and head to the car. The idea of him watching us began to give me the heebie-jeebies. Worse than that, it fucking creeped me out.
Chapter Seven
Hunter
I wasn’t going to let her brush me off as she had done yesterday. She felt the same way that I did, and I wasn’t going to let her deny it. We were going to sit down like adults, discuss the way forward. I saw us taking it slow, and as I pressed the bell, I thought about the way that she reacted to my touch and decided that the only way to do that was to exercise control.
