AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He let out his first full breath since he’d walked into the kitchen and pulled her into his chest, his heart pounding with relief. He let his eyes close for a second while he regained control of his heart rate. And realised he had her head still pressed to his chest. He released her with a start and took a step backwards for both of their sakes.
‘I’m so sorry,’ Jess said, looking over at the demolished mince pies.
‘It’s just pastry,’ he said. ‘I saw your face and thought something dreadful had happened.’
‘But they were so perfect.’
‘It doesn’t matter. Honestly. Did any survive the fall?’
She pushed forward a plate with two of her mince pies on it. Raggedy pastry and leaky filling and all.
‘One each,’ Rufus declared with a rush of positivity. ‘I’ll make us another pot of tea and we can eat these by the fire. What’s the matter?’ he asked as she stood locked by the countertop, her face still a picture of distress.
‘I don’t know. It’s just... Christmas. And being here. And thinking about Mum and Dad at home without me. It’s such an unhappy time for them. And I’ve just left them to it.’
‘You said yourself you would be there if you could be,’ Rufus said gently. ‘You can’t blame yourself for the weather.’
‘But they’re so unhappy,’ Jess went on. ‘Mum’s so miserable, and so is Dad, and I don’t know why they are torturing themselves. No, that’s not true. I do know why. It’s because of me. They stay together for my sake, and it’s made things unbearable for all of us.’
Rufus cupped a hand around her elbow, pulling her gently over to a chair. ‘Jess, did something else happen while I was outside?’
‘Yes. No. Just a call from my mum asking if there was any change in the weather. The roads down there are clearing. She thought I might get back at the last minute. And the sound of her voice when I said it didn’t look likely... I just don’t know why they would want to live like that. It’s hard enough seeing it from the outside. I can’t imagine what it must feel like from the inside.’
Rufus resisted the urge to pull her close again.
‘I’m sorry that she upset you,’ he murmured. ‘I wish there was something I could do.’
She let out a long breath, her body relaxing a fraction.
‘There’s nothing you can do. Nothing I can do either. Believe me, I’ve tried. They’ve made their decision. They’re both old enough to know they could make a different one.’
Rufus sighed. ‘It doesn’t make it any easier for you. To see them so unhappy.’
She shook her head.
‘No. No, it doesn’t.’
‘Is this why...?’ he started, but then stopped himself. He was massively overreaching. Whatever her reason for walking away from the kiss that they had barely started earlier, for jumping when his body had brushed hers by accident, he was sure that they were good ones. And none of his business.
‘Why what?’ she asked, looking up at him and meeting his gaze. And, with her eyes locked on his, caution was impossible.
‘Why you’re wary of this. Us. This...spark.’
She stiffened, leaned away from him. But it wasn’t anger on her face. It was something closer to fear.
‘I never said that.’
‘I know. I’m reading between the lines. Woman who grows up seeing her parents in an unhappy marriage is wary of relationships.’
‘We’re not having a relationship.’
‘I know that. And I have my own reasons for being wary too. But if you’re steering clear because you think all marriages end like your parents’, I just want you to know that you’re wrong.’
‘Well, thanks for mansplaining that to me. I’m aware that not every marriage is unhappy. My point, Rufus, is that any marriage can become unhappy. In the space of a day. A moment. Relationships are tested all the time, and some of them fail. Misery can blindside you. Just like that.’
He crossed his arms. Stared at her.
‘I just think that’s sad. That you’ll deny yourself because you’re scared of the worst.’
