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Rufus laughed. ‘Great commitment,’ he said. She decided to completely ignore the C word, as he had with the L word earlier. There was no reason it should freak her out, all out of context as it was.
Rufus pulled the bowl from her hands and put it on the coffee table along with his own.
‘Come here,’ he said, pulling her close and wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.
* * *
He wondered how long he would last before he broke and kissed her. He hadn’t been exaggerating earlier when he’d told her how much he loved kissing her. It had hit him like a punch to the gut, that moment when her lips had met his and confirmed this attraction was entirely mutual and entirely explosive.
It had taken all his self-control to keep that kiss light. To invite rather than demand. And then when Jess had told him what she wanted, and it fitted entirely with what he wanted—walk away, no strings—he’d wondered if he’d dreamed her up.
His wrist brushed against bare skin as he wrapped his arms around her waist, and Rufus gritted his teeth as he demurely pulled down Jess’s top and tucked the blanket around her shoulders. It was a good job pulling the curtains had left them almost in darkness, because he was sure that if he could see what he was feeling right now, the ping of his self-control snapping would be audible three counties over.
* * *
Glass shattered in a hail of bullets and Rufus reached for the TV remote to turn the volume down. He shifted round to get a better look at Jess’s face, and nearly came undone at the sight of her teeth closing on her bottom lip.
His hand threaded into her hair, and he soaked in the glorious tangle of it. His thumb reached to brush against her cheek and she smiled, shifting so that he was above her on the sofa, her body angled beneath him.
He held his breath as he leaned in to kiss her. ‘You taste of chocolate and red wine. You are every delicious treat today.’
She smiled at him. ‘Because you haven’t let up feeding me.’
He leaned into another kiss. ‘I like looking after you.’
‘I wasn’t complaining,’ Jess said, reaching for him and pulling him back down.
The fire of bullets sounding on the TV made Jess jump and they both laughed as Rufus reached for the remote and turned the volume down even lower.
‘So much for watching the movie,’ Jess said, her hands coming to rest on Rufus’s shoulders. He pushed her hair back from her face, dropping kisses where her forehead was exposed.
‘I’d rather watch you,’ he said, smiling.
‘What happened to anticipation?’
‘It’s lost its shine. Is this okay? Midnight feels like it’s days away. Weeks.’
Her hand reached round to the back of his neck, pulled him down for a deep kiss.
Rufus groaned at that, because no amount of waiting could make this feel more right. He couldn’t imagine any way that it could feel more perfect than it did right now.
Until Jess shifted under him, revealing that band of bare skin at her waist again, and this time he couldn’t—didn’t have to—stop himself from dropping his hands there and exploring. ‘Is this okay?’ he asked as his fingers stroked the soft skin of her belly, and one of her legs coiled around his, locking their bodies together. He pulled away to get a better look at her, and her eyes were undone and her cheeks flushed, her lips parted as she tried to catch her breath. It was without doubt the sexiest thing he had ever seen.
But he could only look for a second before he needed to kiss her again. How had she done this to him? She had only been in his life for a handful of days, no doubt would be gone from it again soon—it was what they’d agreed. It was the only future that this had, but he felt a pang of regret, going into this knowing that it couldn’t last. That was his choice, he reminded himself. More than a choice. It was an obligation. He’d decided not to have a relationship, a family, because he knew that he couldn’t be trusted to put their needs above his own. Jess hadn’t believed him when he’d told her it was his fault his parents had had to leave Upton. That it was the backdrop to luxury mini-breaks and Instagram photoshoots rather than the family home it had always been meant to be.
She’d been insistent that there was nothing else he could have done—that he wasn’t to blame for going off and chasing his own ambitions rather than staying here and supporting his father. All of which was easy to say when she hadn’t been there. Hadn’t seen the disappointment in his dad’s face when he’d learnt that even when he was released from hospital, he wouldn’t really be going home.
‘Rufus?’ Jess pulled back, looking at him. ‘Are you okay? Where did you go? You were all in your head.’
‘I’m here,’ he said. ‘I’m here, with you.’ He punctuated each word with a kiss. ‘For however long we have.’
* * *
For however long we have.
Why had those words given her shivers? Maybe it was the words, or maybe it was the fact that Rufus’s hands had resumed exploring under her sweater, inching higher as he pressed kisses to her lips, her jaw, her neck. She reached down for the hem of her sweater and Rufus pulled his body away from hers, giving her room to work, though his lips didn’t break from hers until she dragged the fabric in between them, revealing the silky vest she’d put on that morning, wondering—hoping—that this was where the past few days had been leading.
Rufus’s breathing was heavy as she dropped her sweater on the floor, and his eyes were kind of dazed.
