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Jess sighed, slouching into the back-breaking chair. How long had she been here now? How long since Rufus had walked away? Since she’d pushed him away?
‘It was nothing,’ she lied. ‘Just passing the time until the snow cleared.’
Lara crossed her arms and fixed her with a look. ‘You know lying to me doesn’t work. Not even when you’re at your best. And you’re seriously not at your best just now. How’s the arm?’
‘Really bloody painful, now that you ask,’ Jess said, trying to force a laugh.
‘I’m sorry. We don’t have to talk about Rufus if you’re not ready. But we can whenever you are.’
Jess nodded. ‘Great, let’s pencil that in for never, shall we?’
‘It worked, you know. Upton Manor’s engagement is through the roof. It’s going to be fully booked all year, and I have this friend who does location-scouting for a movie production company... Never mind. I’ll tell you about that later. My followers loved you, as always. And Rufus. You looked really good together. It was...fairy tale.’
‘Precisely. Fairy tale, as in “not real”. And possibly cursed,’ Jess said, letting her black mood show. ‘It was fun, but it’s over, and I’m not ready to talk about it.’
‘Okay,’ Lara said at last, drawing Jess close with an arm around her shoulders and planting a big kiss on the side of her head. ‘So what’s going on with the doctors? Did they give you the good drugs yet?’
CHAPTER TWELVE
RUFUS GLANCED AT his phone for the thousandth time that morning. He’d muted his Instagram notifications because he just couldn’t keep up with them. Jess had been right. Lara had worked her magic—even from a different country. But his feed was so full of Jess that he couldn’t bear to look at it—never mind like, comment and share. He knew he needed to do it, but he couldn’t. Not yet. Not when so many of those comments were asking what the deal was with the two of them, and he didn’t know how to answer.
No, that wasn’t true. He knew what was going on. They were over. It had all melted away with the snow. Just how they’d agreed. The problem was that he didn’t like it. He wanted...he wanted her. It was as simple as that. He needed her. But nothing had changed. None of the reasons he knew she’d be better off without him.
And so he was here, in his parents’ house, mainlining Twiglets and avoiding mince pies, and trying to answer his family’s questions about how he’d spent his Christmas without touching on anything X-rated. Or showing the gaping hole that seemed to be growing in his chest since Jess had kicked him out of the hospital. He should just pick up the phone and call her. Just to make sure she was okay. To make sure that Lara had turned up and she wasn’t still stuck alone in a corridor somewhere.
But Jess didn’t need him.
So why couldn’t he stop thinking about her?
‘A watched phone never rings, love.’
He rolled his eyes at his mam. She’d been dropping hints, getting less and less subtle since the minute she’d arrived at the hospital to pick him up, eyes equal parts concern and curiosity. Once he’d assured her that he was okay—the call to the same hospital they’d been summoned to when his dad had suffered his heart attack wasn’t an ideal Christmas present—he’d known that she could see that something had happened.
‘You know you can tell me about it, don’t you?’ she said, pressing gently on what she must have known was a sore spot.
‘About what?’ Playing dumb was the only weapon he had, and he knew that it was nothing against his mother’s arsenal.
‘About whatever it is that happened that’s got you looking so sad. About why you’re stuck here all glum, instead of being wherever Jess is right now, trying to work out whatever’s happened.’
‘Nothing’s happened, Mam. I keep telling you. She lives down there. I’m here. We enjoyed getting to know each other for a few days, and now we’ve gone back to our own lives. It’s what we both wanted. Want.’
‘Well, call me interfering—’
‘You’re interf—
’
‘But, love, you don’t look like someone who’s got what they want. You look like someone trying to come to terms with losing someone.’
He crossed his arms. There was no point having this conversation. It wasn’t going to change anything. ‘Even if I wanted—’
‘Which you clearly do.’
‘Even if I wanted things to be different, we don’t always get what we want. What would be the point of saying that I want Jess? That I want to see her again because I think I’m falling for her? That I see myself building a life with her? Some people just aren’t meant for that. Shouldn’t have other people relying on them.’
His mam creased her eyebrows together thoughtfully. ‘Why do I get the feeling we’re not just talking about Jess here?’
‘We are.’ He huffed. ‘And we’re not, I suppose. It was my fault that you and Dad had to leave Upton. My fault that he’s heartbroken about it.’
