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‘You know, we’ve never really talked much about your family,’ Fraser went on. ‘Tell me more about caring for your sister. How is it with the three of you living together?’
‘It’s the only arrangement that makes sense. I do as much of Sarah’s care as I can myself. Sarah’s mentioned getting her own place, but I don’t think she really appreciates what that would mean. More care from strangers...less from me and Mum. I hate the thought of it.’
‘And did your ex live with you too?’ Fraser asked, throwing her a curveball by mentioning Alex.
She shook her head. ‘No. In fact we called things off when it became clear that it wasn’t going to work for him. And he was right. We never stood a chance—not with all the other responsibilities I have in my life. He would always have had to share me with my family. It wasn’t fair on him.’
‘I’m starting to think he didn’t deserve you,’ Fraser said. ‘But tell me more about caring for your sister,’ he added, looking genuinely interested. ‘I want to understand what your life is like.’
She didn’t bother correcting him about Alex. She had been right to call things off. But Fraser had asked about Sarah, and she smiled, much happier talking about her sister than her failed attempt at being a fiancée.
‘My whole job is to make sure she can do whatever she needs to and to help her do as much for herself as she can manage. A lot of it is pretty basic: cutting up food, making drinks, driving her to medical appointments. Then there’s the more specialised stuff, like physio, her medication—that sort of thing. She’s stubborn and fierce and independent, so I’m just there to fill in the gaps when she can’t do something she wants to. She was born when I was twelve; I’ve helped to care for her all my adult life, so I don’t really know things any other way and nor does she.’
Fraser smiled. ‘Sounds like you two are quite the team. Do you have outside help?’
Elspeth shrugged. ‘Only in an emergency. Why would we have someone else in when we are such a good team?’
‘It would give you more time,’ Fraser suggested gently.
‘I don’t want time. Not if it means compromises for Sarah.’
‘You love her very much,’ he said plainly. ‘I can’t wait to see you love our baby like that.’
She met his eyes, and for a second they held each other’s gaze, feeling all the potential of a future life, their future family, between them.
‘I’ll get in touch with my lawyer, then. Start sorting out some paperwork for our finances.’
Elspeth sat back, dropping her feet to the floor and straightening her spine, surprised by his change of direction. ‘Lawyers? We’re at lawyers? What happened to “We’ll find a middle ground”? I thought we were working this out ourselves?’
‘We will. We are—of course we are. But I want the baby to have security. For ever. I want you to know that whatever happens you’ll be provided for.’
‘Well, there’s nothing melodramatic in that sentence to t
errify me,’ Elspeth replied, taking a step away from him.
What was he planning on happening? Was he creating an escape plan for himself?
‘I’m not being melodramatic.’ Fraser’s voice was darker now. Serious. ‘I’m being practical. Families break up. Parents make mistakes. I just want to know that our baby is always going to be taken care of.’
Her instinct was to bite back, to remind him that he was going absolutely nowhere and neither was she. They were going to raise this baby together, just as they had agreed. But then she remembered the look in his eyes when he had spoken about his father. That sad, confused teenager he had been was still just under the surface, still didn’t understand why his relationship with his father had broken down, and she decided not to push it.
This conversation was just a symptom of a deeper problem. And the only way to deal with that was for Fraser to come to terms with what had happened between him and his dad.
She thought about the money too. Thought about the years of medical costs and on-call shifts and waiting for payday ahead of her. Knowing that at least her baby would be well provided for had relieved her of a pressure she hadn’t even realised she was feeling.
‘You’re right. Have your lawyer do whatever you think is necessary.’ She waited a beat and then asked, ‘Have you thought any more about your dad?’
Fraser shot her a dark look, but she decided to press on. She and Fraser didn’t know each other that well, but it was clear that his relationship with his father was going to affect his relationship with their child. She didn’t want this baby born into conflict or uncertainty—if there was confrontation to be had, it would have to happen before the baby arrived.
‘About going to see him?’ she added, when Fraser stayed silent.
‘It’s complicated,’ he replied, as if that was an end of the matter.
‘Of course it is. That’s why if it’s going to happen I think it’s best to do it well before the baby is here. The last thing we need is to be trekking up to the Highlands when I’m nine months gone.’
‘We?’
Elspeth felt her cheeks colour. She’d assumed that she would be going with him. This was all about the baby, after all. And it wasn’t as if the baby could go up there without her right now. But obviously Fraser hadn’t been planning on introducing her to his family yet. Oh, well, she was too far into this thing to succumb to embarrassment now.
