AllFreeNovel
Share Us
What would make her happy?
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d asked herself that question. The last time she had made a free choice rather than weighing up all the opposing forces in her life and trying to pick the least bad option.
But Fraser was asking something different. He wasn’t asking what she didn’t want. He wasn’t asking her what the lesser of all the evils was. He was asking her, as no one had done for a really long time, what she wanted.
And there could only be one answer. She wanted him. She wanted him in her life, in her family, in her bed. She wanted him any way she could get him, and she wanted him now. But that didn’t mean she could have him.
‘Elspeth? I hope you’re not about to do something stupid!’ Sarah shouted from the other side of the kitchen door.
Elspeth shook her head in dismay. How long had she been there listening?
‘Did no one ever tell you it’s rude to eavesdrop?’ Elspeth shouted back, leaning against the counter and letting out a sigh. She walked over and opened the door, stepping out of the way before Sarah could catch her toes with her powered wheelchair.
‘You must have forgotten to teach me that one. Now, is there a good reason why you’re not jumping on him?’ Sarah asked with a raised eyebrow. ‘I mean given how in love with him you are and everything.’ She turned to Fraser. ‘Don’t let her tell you that she needs to look after us. I’ve been telling her for years that she needs to get over it.’
‘In love with me, are you?’ Fraser asked, looking from Sarah to Elspeth, raising his eyebrows.
Elspeth bristled, and decided the safest thing to do was to ignore the question. Safer to stick to the practical considerations—they came with easy answers. Talking about moving out and it actually being a viable possibility were two very different things. Something her sister didn’t seem to grasp.
‘Getting over it is easier said than done.’ Elspeth busied herself filling the kettle and flicking the switch, needing something to do with her hands, somewhere to look other than at Fraser. ‘Especially as you do actually need me here, Sarah.’
‘Well, I’m going to move out when I finish college anyway,’ Sarah said. ‘You’ll have loads more free time then.’
Fraser drew his eyebrows together in surprise as he looked over at Sarah. ‘Sounds exciting,’ he said. ‘Elspeth didn’t mention that.’
But Elspeth was shaking her head. She had been through this with Sarah so many times before. It just wasn’t realistic for her to live alone. Sure, there were other people in Sarah’s position who managed, but she didn’t want her sister to just manage. She wanted her to have the best care. That meant Elspeth doing as much of it as possible herself. And that only worked if they were living together.
‘You can’t do that, Sarah. We’ve been through all this already.’
‘Don’t tell me I can’t. I can employ a team of assistants and carers. Plenty of people do it. I’m not having you martyr yourself for me.’
Elspeth poured hot water into the teapot and then slammed it down on the counter, harder than she’d intended. ‘I’m not martyring myself. I want to take care of you.’
‘But that’s not what Sarah wants,’ Fraser said, glancing from one sister to the other. ‘I think we need to talk about that. About why you’re trying to keep your sister dependent on you.’
‘You never stop,’ Sarah added. ‘Even when it’s making you miserable.’
‘Caring for you doesn’t make me miserable, Sarah. How could you think that?’
Tears prickled at the back of Elspeth’s eyes at the idea that Sarah could think that. She loved looking after her sister. And as for what Fraser had said—he couldn’t possibly understand the relationship between her and Sarah. This wasn’t his call to make, however much he might like to feel in control of the situation.
‘Maybe it’s not making you miserable,’ Fraser conceded, ‘but it’s stopping you from giving our relationship a chance.’
Sarah smiled at Fraser. ‘Did I mention that I really like this guy, Elspeth? He’s right. Being apart from Fraser is making you miserable. And you do know, don’t you, that if I move out I’m not going to suddenly drop dead?’
Fraser pulled up a chair and sat at the table. ‘Look, we don’t need to make any decisions about this now. If we all want to live together, we can make that happen. Sarah, if you want to live on your own I’m sure we will support you.’
Elspeth looked from one to the other, wondering when they had decided to gang up on her.
‘Are you telling me that I’m making it all up?’ Elspeth asked seriously. ‘That I’ve imagined that I’ve needed to do everything I have? Because you don’t remember, Sarah, what it was like when you were born. When I was terrified every day that you might die. When I had to remind Mum to eat because the only thing she could think about was getting you through the day.’
Elspeth brought the tea over to the table, and Sarah reached out to touch her hand.
‘Of course you haven’t made it up. You know Mum and I couldn’t have managed without you. But we want you to be happy. If we’d known that the way things are makes you think you can’t have your own life too we’d never have let it go on this long. Is this why you and Alex broke up?’
Sarah glanced at Fraser, obviously worried that she was oversharing in front of the new guy.
‘I know about Alex,’ Fraser said, his expression making it clear that he wasn’t a fan.
