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‘And I thought I was doing so well.’
She shot him a look that made his heart melt. If he’d known Anna then, he’d never have been able to keep silent.
‘No one can hide a broken heart. Particularly not from a bunch of kids. They see what’s going on a lot better than adults do.’
‘Yeah, I guess so. Especially these kids. A lot of them have good reason to be watchful, they’ve been let down by the people around them.’
He didn’t dare ask what Spark and Jen had thought about it all. What Anna had thought. When she brushed her fingers against the back of his hand, he knew exactly what she thought. Anna was there for him in a way that he couldn’t have expected.
‘They said they bought you fairy cakes. They wanted to make you feel better.’
‘Fairy cakes?’ Jamie thought back. ‘Oh, yes, I remember now. They had enough for the whole team, and they gave me a bag to take home with me. They had black icing...’
A lump rose suddenly in his throat. He’d felt so alone then. If he’d just opened his eyes and seen, he’d have known that he hadn’t been.
‘There’s nothing that says Cheer up, we’ve got your back quite like black icing and a skull and crossbones.’ Anna grinned. ‘I hope you got that message.’
‘I suppose I did, in general terms. I remember thinking it was very nice of them, and that things couldn’t be that bad after all.’ A thought occurred to Jamie. ‘They told you all this?’
‘I generally find that when people ambush me for information it’s because they’re worried about something. If I tell them what they want to know, in plain and simple terms, then they respond to that and tell me what’s bothering them. Jen and Spark think a lot of you, and they don’t want to see you hurt again.’
Jamie was overwhelmed. No thought, just the feeling that there was so much he’d missed. So much he’d got wrong.
‘I’ve been a fool, haven’t I?’
Anna shook her head. ‘I don’t think so.’
The waitress arrived with their plates, and he took cutlery from the carousel, and then some tartare sauce to go with his fish. He watched as Anna shook the bottle of tomato sauce, dribbling some onto her plate, then dipping one of her chips into it. Everything she did was enchanting, and it seemed that she was all he had to hold onto.
‘Great chips.’ She gave him a smile that seemed achingly intimate. As if she knew all his secrets and she didn’t judge him for them. She just wanted to eat chips with him on a wet, windy day and watch the sea.
‘I think... I could have done a few things differently.’
‘You’re in good company. You, me and everyone else on the planet.’ She put another chip into her mouth, but she was watching him steadily.
‘I could do a few things differently in the future, then.’
Anna smiled. ‘That’s a bit more to the point. The future’s something we can change.’
‘I’ve been thinking that the business with Jon and Gill was just one thing, and that it came out of the blue. It happened and I could keep it to myself, and control it.’
‘And you’ve learned differently.’
‘Well, clearly there were a few issues that had been brewing before that. And I wasn’t in control, I couldn’t just keep going without anyone noticing.’ Jamie thought for a moment. ‘Maybe I should mention that to my counsellor.’
‘What, that you’re not completely in control of everything?’ Anna gave him a knowing look.
‘I sat down with her last week, and outlined the way I expected it all to go.’ He allowed himself a rueful smile. ‘What the issues were, and how I was going to resolve them.’
‘I’ll bet she just loved that. Where’s the job satisfaction in counselling someone who’s already got everything worked out?’ Anna was teasing now.
‘Yeah, okay. Just don’t stop giving me a hard time, will you?’
‘Of course not. That’s what friends are for, isn’t it?’
Jamie nodded. Being friends with Anna was so much more than he’d dared hope. And suddenly he had an appetite for the food in front of him. He picked up his knife and fork and began to eat.
CHAPTER TEN
