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Leo had doubted that. Joel was his twin, and he knew him almost better than he knew himself. And when he’d finally been able to get a couple of moments alone he’d found the missed calls on his phone. Joel had called him on that Saturday evening.
The brothers used to joke about missed calls. Once meant: I’ll catch you later. Twice: Call me back. Three times: Call me back now. The five missed calls on Leo’s phone had spoken to him loud and clear. I’m in trouble. I need you, Leo...
He pulled his phone from his pocket, scanning it. There was a text from his mother, saying she’d heard the show tonight, and automatically he hit speed dial.
‘Hi, Mum...’ Leo smiled into the phone, knowing that even if it was forced, the smile would sound in his voice. ‘How are you doing?’
‘Oh, darling! Exhausted. I went shopping with Marjorie today...’
‘Yeah? Find anything nice?’
‘Of course we did. You know Marjorie. I heard the programme tonight.’
His mother could always be relied on to give him an honest assessment of his performance. ‘What did you think?’
‘Good. Very good. I was very impressed by that young woman...’
‘Alex?’
‘Yes. She sounds as if she’s a force to be reckoned with.’
‘She is. She’s very committed.’
‘That came over. And she sounds nice with it.’
‘Yeah. She’s nice too.’ Leo took a sip of his Scotch.
‘Pretty?’
‘No. More beautiful, I’d say.’ Leo chuckled. His mother’s wish to see him settled down with a nice girl, preferably one he hadn’t met at some glitzy party, was never all that far from the surface.
‘That’s nice. And she’ll be back next week, will she?’
‘You were listening, then...’ Leo laughed as his mother protested. He knew well enough that she always listened. ‘In which case you’ll know that we’re holding quite a few events over the next couple of weeks.’
‘Well, I hope you enjoy them. What’s that funny noise...?’
‘Wind, probably. I’m on the terrace.’
‘What on earth for? You’ll catch your death of cold...’
‘I just wanted to clear my head. I’m going inside now.’
Leo had accepted that, faced with the loss of one son, his mother could be a little over-protective about the remaining one. The least he could do was go along with it; there was little enough else he could do to ease his parents’ agony. Apart from keeping quiet about the five missed calls. If his parents wanted to believe that Joel’s death had been some kind of horrendous accident then he couldn’t rip that shred of comfort away from them.
He slid the balcony doors closed with a bump and threw himself down onto the sofa.
‘You sound tired, darling.’
‘Long day. I’m about ready to turn in now.’
‘Well, don’t let me stop you. Goodnight.’
‘Yeah. Speak soon, Mum.’
Leo ended the call, staring for a moment at the screen of his phone. Joel’s number was still on there, transferred from one phone to another, over the years. It was stupid, really, but it reminded him why he did what he did. Why the radio show was so important to him. He hadn’t been around to help Joel, and the only thing that made that agony a little easier to bear was the hope that maybe, as a result of something he’d done, there was another family out there who hadn’t had to grieve the way his had.
And now Alex. He’d let her down, as surely as he’d let Joel down. But there was one very big difference. There was no possibility of going back and helping Joel. But Alex... She had a future, and he could do something to change that.
