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It would be so easy, so very pleasurable, to indulge the connection between them. To reach out and touch her, knowing that their hearts weren’t so very different. He wanted that, and he had a good idea that Alex did too, but if he felt her softness he’d be unable to stop.
He’d been this way before, and recognised the signposts. Love affairs which bloomed briefly and then faded, as it became all too obvious that even when Leo was physically present, his mind was elsewhere. In the end, he had resigned himself to the fact that short-cutting the process, and keeping his relationships with women strictly on the level of a friendship, saved a lot of heartache all round.
A love affair with Alex might be very sweet, but it would inevitably be short. And Leo needed time. Time to help her dreams for the charity come to fruition. He was there to be used, and the sooner he convinced her that he owed her that, the better.
She didn’t press her point. Almost as soon as he’d dialled the first number, she was smiling again, ready to talk. He grinned at her, leaning over to speak into the phone.
‘Hello... This is Leo Cross. Is that Nina?’
There was a long pause. ‘Yes...’
‘You called my radio show yesterday evening, about your nephew, John. He has cerebral palsy, and you’d like to know what opportunities there are for him to play football.’ It was always good to give people a few details, just to reassure them that this wasn’t a hoax call. ‘I have Alex Jackson with me...’
‘You do?’
Alex leaned over towards the phone. ‘Hi, Nina.’
‘Leo... Thank you for calling. I didn’t think you would. I’d love to talk...’
‘We’re here to listen. Tell us about John...’
* * *
It had taken three hours to work their way through the list. Longer than usual, but then last night’s show had been popular. Alex had done most of the talking, and Leo had taken the opportunity to watch her. She didn’t so much speak into his phone, but shone into it. He wondered whether little trails of light would leak back out of it when they were done and he put the phone back into his pocket.
‘Last one?’ She consulted the list. ‘What does that star by her name mean?’
‘Under eighteen. Look, it says she’s seventeen.’
‘Right. But she’s old enough to consult someone medically on her own if she wants to.’
‘Yep, but not necessarily on the radio. We need parental consent for under sixteens, and if they’re sixteen to eighteen we have an extra duty of care.’
Alex nodded, grinning. ‘So let’s fast-track this one. I’ll get stroppy about a seventeen-year-old calling a phone-in show because she needs help and then not getting to speak to anyone. You’ll tell me you have some kind of procedure and she’s been well looked after. Then I feel like an idiot.’
‘She’ll have spoken to a counsellor. But you’re not an idiot.’ Alex’s stubborn belief in him was beginning to grow on Leo, and it was becoming harder to cling to the reasons why he shouldn’t believe in himself.
‘That’s that dealt with then. She’s definitely a pink.’ Alex had used pink highlighter for follow-ups, green for everyone who hadn’t requested a call, and yellow for those who’d raised important issues that she’d like to talk about on the next programme. The list was beginning to resemble a Neapolitan ice cream, and Leo wondered whether Alex would like the Italian ice cream parlour in Knightsbridge. He saved that thought carefully as he dialled the mobile phone number.
‘Hi, this is Leo Cross. Is that Carys?’
Alex had leaned in a little closer to the phone with each call they made. This time her hair brushed his cheek, and Leo shivered. The sound of an alarmed squawk came from the phone, and when they both jumped he caught the faint but alluring scent of her perfume.
‘Carys...?’ It was an effort to keep his voice steady.
A pause, the sound of a TV in the background.
‘I can’t talk...’ The words were whispered down the line.
‘Okay, that’s fine. Would you like to talk another time?’
‘Yes. Please... I want to...’
The hairs on the back of Leo’s neck prickled. He’d worked on helplines for long enough to know when someone really wanted to talk, and he guessed that the girl needed to do so in private.
‘What time’s good for you, Carys?’ Leo looked at his watch. ‘Would you like me to call you in an hour?’
‘Yes. Thanks.’
