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‘You did look very dashing. Ready to fly off into the unknown and take over new worlds.’
He shook his head. ‘That was more my brother’s style. I was always the sensible one.’
‘You didn’t say you had a brother...’
‘We were identical twins, and he still managed to be a lot better-looking than me. I kept him under wraps.’
‘Were...?’ There was something about the way he said it. ‘May I ask?’
‘I wish more people did.’ Maybe it was a trick of the light, the luminous sky banding the carpet with reflections which merged into the subdued lighting in the room. But when he turned his blue eyes up towards her, Alex thought she saw the young man she’d first met looking at her.
She swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat. She knew how hard it was when people tried not to mention things that mattered.
‘What was your brother’s name?’
She thought she saw a smile flicker on his lips. ‘Joel. He died six months after we first met. Just before Christmas.’
‘I’m sorry. Really sorry, Leo.’
‘Don’t be. No one talks about him all that much and...’ He shrugged. ‘Sometimes I wish that everyone would just stop trying to spare my feelings.’
‘I imagine they mean well.’
He nodded. ‘Yes. I imagine that they do. But Joel should have more than just silence.’
‘I’m happy to make some noise with you.’
Leo nodded. ‘Sounds good to me. Join me in a brandy?’
‘No, thanks.’
He walked over to a cabinet beneath the huge swirling picture on the wall, opening it and taking out a glass.
‘Joel suffered from depression. He didn’t tell anyone, but I knew something was up and confronted him. I persuaded him to go to the doctor, and when we found it was months before he could get to see a counsellor on the NHS we put what money we had together and he went privately to see someone.’
He turned, amber liquid swirling in the brandy glass in his hand. ‘Not that it did any good. Joel took his own life.’
‘But you tried. You were there for him...’
‘Not when it mattered. And I should have told my parents—maybe they could have done something. Joel asked me not to.’
‘Then you were respecting his wishes, weren’t you?’
‘Sometimes you have to act, despite what people ask you to do.’ He took a sip from his glass and then another larger one, as if the first hadn’t done anything to offset the pain. Alex doubted the second would either.
‘And that’s why you volunteered to work on the student helplines? For Joel?’
‘Yeah. I wasn’t there for him and the only thing that made me feel any better about that was being there for other people...’ He took another sip of his drink, as if to stop some deathly cold creeping over him.
Suddenly the hall of mirrors came crashing down. The charming Leo, the businessman, the cynic and the doctor. All of his inconsistencies suddenly made sense.
Leo was exactly what he appeared to be. A passionate, dedicated man who had been broken by guilt and regret. The fame, the ratings on his radio show—they were just a way of reaching people. And he’d sworn himself to that—dedicating his energy to people he didn’t know because people you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you.
‘I know what you’re thinking.’ He spoke softly. ‘It’s been said often enough to me. I should let it go.’
‘You’re good but you’re not a mind-reader, Leo.’ A force that was nothing to do with her own will, and everything to do with the look in his eyes, impelled her to her feet and drew her across the room to where he stood.
‘A lot of people aren’t that hard to read...’ His gaze searched her face.
