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‘How do I know?’ Rhona rolled her eyes and plucked a small envelope from the side of the wrapping. ‘It’s knobbly...’
‘Well, what is it?’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake.’ Rhona opened the envelope and took out a thumb drive. ‘Here. Roses and electronic media. And...’
She handed the card to Alex. Leo’s firm, flowing handwriting.
Thank you.
She dropped the card onto her desk as if it had just burned her fingers.
‘So they are from Leo?’ Rhona raised her eyebrows.
‘Yes.’
Rhona slumped into her chair. ‘What do you want to do about it, honey?’
‘I... I don’t know. I can’t do anything about it.’ She and Rhona had been through all this. She’d taken a risk and it hadn’t worked out. That had hurt so badly that she couldn’t take another.
‘What do you say I put the flowers in water and go down and get a couple of coffees from the shop? Then we’ll think about the thumb drive.’
‘Okay. Thanks.’ Alex pushed the flowers away from her as if they might burn her.
The flowers were arranged, coffee was fetched, and she and Rhona sat in front of Rhona’s computer.
‘Sure you want me to see this?’ Rhona slotted the thumb drive into the USB port.
‘Yeah. It’s okay. Yellow roses, right?’ The message was friendship. It was probably photographs from the radio station, something like that.
Rhona clicked on a folder and then on the icon inside. A sound file. A familiar jingle sounded through the speakers and the two women looked at each other. It was Leo’s medical hour.
‘You want me to turn it off...?’
‘No. Listen with me.’ She’d come this far and she couldn’t go back now.
Then Leo’s voice. At first, all she could hear was the smooth, sexy sound and then she began to focus on what he was actually saying.
‘We’ve tackled a lot of very difficult issues here on the medical hour, and we pride ourselves on making this a place for people to talk. I’ve come to understand that sharing our experiences is not just a way of healing for ourselves, but for others, which is why I’ve decided to talk about this very personal issue. My twin brother took his own life when we were twenty-two. I’m pleased to welcome Dr Celia Greenway, who is a consultant psychologist...’
‘He’s talking about Joel...’ Alex turned to Rhona, her hand over her mouth, tears streaming down her face.
‘Who? Never mind. Are we sticking with it?’
‘Yes... Yes.’
A woman was talking now...
‘Leo, I’ve spoken at some length with both you and your family, and I want to make it clear to everyone listening that Leo and his family have given me permission to speak about some of the personal issues that came out of our discussions. What would you say was the most difficult emotion for you?’
‘Guilt... I wasn’t able to talk about some of the things which happened on the night of my brother’s death for many years.’
‘In fact, not until you and your family talked to me?’
‘No...’
He was going to crack up. Alex could hear it in his voice. But somehow, through an obvious effort of will, Leo was holding it together. He spoke to each caller in turn, encouraging them to talk and answering all of the questions that were put to him honestly. With the usual jingles and the break for the news edited out, the recording lasted three-quarters of an hour, and Alex and Rhona listened in silence.
Finally, he wrapped the programme up.
