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‘He was...he was a dreamer and didn’t bother too much about practicalities. But I thought I could take care of them, and I did until he was made redundant. He decided he wanted to start his own business, so I took on extra work. And then I got pregnant. And I thought I could cope with that as well, but it was too much for me.’
‘It would have been too much for anyone.’
‘I know that. Pride comes before a fall, Matteo.’
‘But...didn’t he support you?’
‘That wasn’t what Alec did. He hated it when I had to work late or I brought my work home and so I just stopped talking to him about it. And I worked a bit more because I was miserable, and...it was a vicious circle, and it all finally fell apart.’
‘But...’ Matteo was struggling to understand. ‘How was that your fault?’
‘On the morning I came back from doing that last model, he was so angry. He said some horrible things...that he wished I wasn’t pregnant because all I thought about was the baby. That I never talked to him any more and that I meant everything to him but he meant nothing to me....’
She looked up at Matteo, her face composed. The dull look in her eyes was like a knife to his heart.
‘I thought I could be the one who kept things going. But I was wrong. I walked into my marriage with my eyes open, and I messed up. And I’m not going to do that again with William.’
It was heartbreaking. A strong woman, destroyed by the weakness of a man. ‘Would you believe me if I told you that it wasn’t your fault. That you can’t just excuse someone for not facing up to their responsibilities by saying that’s not what they do.’
‘I wish I could, Matteo.’
‘Okay. So we’ll do this differently, then.’
Her eyebrows shot up. ‘Differently?’
‘Yes. You’re going to pack your things up and come with me. You can work at my place this weekend. Bring William over and I’ll cook and play football with him on the beach. You get to do the hard part, and do Aemilia justice with your model of her.’
She shook her head, as if he’d said something so special that she couldn’t quite believe it. ‘It’s so nice of you. Supporting me...’
‘It’s what I want, Rose. Don’t push me away, please.’
She pressed her lips together, tears forming in her eyes. ‘I hurt you, didn’t I?’
Rose couldn’t cry for herself, but she could cry over this. Matteo swallowed down the feeling of helpless anger.
‘That doesn’t matter. It’s what we do now that matters. Let’s pack your things up.’
He put his arm around her shoulders, brushing his lips against her forehead. The kind of thing you’d do with a friend, but he could no longer support that piece of self-delusion. A friend would have let her go if she’d asked, but there was no way that Matteo was leaving her alone this weekend.
She nodded quietly, as if suddenly all the fight had gone out of her. ‘I’ll fetch some boxes.’
He helped her wrap and pack everything, and walked behind her carrying the heaviest box. She put hers down to open her car, and Matteo flipped his remote and the boot of his car swung open.
Rose watched as he put the box into his boot. ‘You’re holding Aemilia hostage?’
‘Yeah. Just in case you decide to drive away and do this somewhere else. Because you’re both coming home with me.’ Matteo wondered if she’d object and what he’d do if she did. But she smiled.
‘So you’re serious about this?’
‘What gave you the idea that I wasn’t?’ Not the kiss, that was for sure. Not anything he’d said either. And if she wanted to measure him by her ex-husband’s behaviour then Rose could think again.
She nodded, picking up her box and putting it next to his in his car. ‘Drive carefully. I don’t want any of this broken.’
* * *
Matteo was taking care with the sudden twists and turns in the road, as if he carried something precious, and Rose’s foot hovered over the brake as she drove behind him. He did carry something precious. All of her broken hopes and dreams. It took an effort of trust to believe that he wasn’t going to stamp on them and grind them into dust under his heel.
But she’d started something she couldn’t stop. He’d goaded her into it, she knew that, but she’d taken the bait and she’d kissed him, and then told him the very worst thing about herself. It was difficult to decide which of the two had been more intimate.
