AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Matteo was silent for a moment. Without thinking, she’d asked him to help her make one of the choices that all parents made practically every day, and he’d baulked suddenly.
‘I think you know your own son best.’
This was the distance he’d promised to maintain between himself and William. It wasn’t all for William’s benefit, there was his own hurt there too.
‘Did you never think of having your own children?’
‘I thought about it all the time. I thought that I did...not my own, I wasn’t their real father, but I loved them like a father. And then I left them.’ Heartbreak jangled in his voice.
‘You didn’t have any choice, Matteo.’
‘There’s always a choice. I made it, and I have to live with it.’
And now he travelled light. His self-imposed punishment was that there would never be any thoughts of permanence in a relationship. And no children either, even though Matteo was made to be a father.
But it was what she wanted too. For her relationship with Matteo not to touch William. For there to be no thought of permanence, because she’d messed up once and couldn’t trust herself not to do so again. They thought alike, even if the idea did seem suddenly depressing.
‘I suppose we both want the same thing.’
‘Yeah. Is that a bad thing?’ He flopped on his back in the sand, one hand tucked behind his head, the other balancing his glass on his stomach. He seemed to be staring up at the stars, and Rose wondered what he was thinking. Surely, tonight of all nights, staring up at the stars was something they might be expected to do together?
But regrets were not something that Matteo seemed to dwell on too much. He was a creature of the present, living each moment for itself. He reached up, clasping her hand and pulling it to his lips. ‘Are you having second thoughts? About my role as your sexual plaything?’
The invitation to join him in the present was clear. And one that Rose wanted to accept. ‘No. I’m very happy with that arrangement.’
‘Okay. So am I. Although I feel you might reciprocate.’
Rose laughed. ‘Ah. So I could be your...bit of fluff?’
‘Do you see any fluff in my house?’
‘In that case...femme fatale?’
‘That’s got possibilities, particularly in the wardrobe department.’ He smiled as Rose dug her fingers into his ribs. ‘Although I’m not too sure about the fatale bit. I’m hoping to survive the experience.’
‘Well, what do you have in mind?’ This was all a fantasy, but it was a nice one, and one that seemed possible for two people running from the truth.
‘I thought...something that involves you walking around my house naked quite a bit. And where you allow me to buy you expensive underwear so that I can tear it off with my teeth.’
It was a thought. One that was surprisingly attractive. ‘But if I’m walking around naked, how can you tear my underwear off with your teeth? There’s a flaw in your logic.’
‘Hmm. Yeah, I see your point. Maybe we should have an alternating arrangement. Does that work?’
‘Might do.’ She dropped a teasing kiss onto his lips. ‘I’ll think about it.’
‘There is one thing I’d like us to be.’
‘Yeah?’
‘I’d like us to be friends. You know, the talking kind.’
Rose wanted that too. ‘The supporting kind?’ He’d done so much to support her, and it was that foundation that had allowed her to trust him and make the sex possible.
‘Yeah. Definitely that. The Whatever happens, I’ll be there for you kind.’
‘Yes. That sounds really good.’ She turned, leaning on his chest. ‘So that’s the bargain?’
‘Yeah. I think so. So do you want to hear my fantasy?’
