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“How’d you find them?”

“She and I have stayed in touch.”

Rapp was surprised and then he realized he shouldn’t have been. Kennedy was thorough. “How old is the girl?”

“Anna is three.”

The fact that the mother had named her after Rapp’s deceased wife had screwed up Rapp’s thinking in ways he could have never predicted. He had spent months tracking Gould and his wife down, with the absolute conviction that when he found them he would kill both of them without hesitation, and then when the moment finally came, and he confronted the mother and the baby girl, it all fell apart. It was as if his wife’s soul had seized him and told him killing them would serve no purpose other than to orphan the baby girl. For a man who had spent more than fifteen years killing people it was the most foreign sensation imaginable.

“Gould had been hiding from Claudia the fact that he was still in the game,” Kennedy said. “He’s trying to act like he doesn’t care, but deep down he’s scared to death that she’s going to leave him once she finds out. It will be your best source of leverage with him.”

Rapp nodded but was thinking of his own ways to exert leverage. A gun to the fool’s head just might be the simplest course of action. The only problem with that tactic, Rapp knew, was that once he got started he might not be able to control himself.

CHAPTER 49

AURORA HIGHLANDS, VIRGINIA

WILSON wasn’t wondering if he was depressed; he knew he was depressed beyond any reasonable doubt. For the first time in his career he actually thought about sticking his service pistol in his mouth and ending his misery. It was a short-lived thought, as Wilson couldn’t bear to think of the mess it would leave behind. And if he somehow screwed it up, which based on his current run of bad luck he would, there was a better than ever chance that he’d end up crippled in an institution for the rest of his life watching the world go by and not be able to communicate a single thought. No, Wilson decided, if he was going to commit suicide, he would take pills.

Ferris must have sensed his desperation, because he had one of his aides call to tell him that he’d meet him on their street corner at 10:00 p.m. sharp. Now Wilson found himself in the front hall of his house for the second night in a row, getting ready to do something he didn’t like with a dog he didn’t particularly care for.

He poked his head into the office and said, “I’m going to take Rose out for a walk.”

Sally turned away from the computer screen. “Are you sure? I’d be more than happy to do it.”

Wilson hadn’t told her about his monumentally horseshit day. He couldn’t bear the thought of her judging him. There would be so many questions. She had told him once not long ago that she loved him very much, but that he couldn’t be right all the time. Any conversation about today’s events would eventually lead to that place, and she would look right through him and ask how it was that Director Miller, who had a reputation as a fair and honest person, could be so wrong. And then she would dig deeper and he’d have to tell her that not a single person had stood up for him. She would seize on that as proof that the majority had ruled and he was wrong. Wilson could not take having that conversation, not tonight and probably never.

“No,” he told her, “I need to clear my head.”

“You’ve been awfully quiet. You don’t want to talk about the meeting?”

“No . . . I need to sort a few things out.”

“I’m always here if you want to talk.” She stood, walked over, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You’re a good man, Joel.”

“Thank you. I’m lucky to have you.”

“Yes, you are.” She brushed his cheek with the back of her hand and then walked him to the door.

Moving down the front walk took great effort. It was as if his feet were carrying him to a place he did not want to go. As they turned up the block, a gust of wind hit him the face and Wilson shivered, clutching at his jacket and turning his collar up. He felt cold and vulnerable, and he didn’t like it. Rose led the way and Wilson followed at a sluggish pace. When he reached his corner he didn’t even notice the Lincoln Town Car until the driver flashed his lights. Joel sighed and braced himself for what he assumed was going to be a lame pep talk from the blowhard senior senator from Connecticut. After opening the rear door, he picked up Rose under her belly and tossed her into the backseat. She and Ferris were welcome to have their little love affair.

Ferris grabbed the dog and pulled her onto his lap. He scratched her neck while saying, “I heard today didn’t go so well.”

Wilson tugged at his jacket. “It was a complete fucking disaster.”

“Must you be so vulgar?”

“You have to be shitting me. You expect me to believe that you don’t swear when you’re angry?”

Ferris shook his head in a slow, disapproving manner. “There was a time, but I’ve learned it does no good.”

“Well, you have a day like I had today and then you can fucking lecture me about swearing.” Wilson looked out the window at the passing brownstones. “Do you know exactly how bad it was?”

“I don’t have any details other than the fact that you’ve been placed on administrative leave.”

“Do you know what that means?”

“It typically means that you continue to get paid while an independent panel decides if you’ve committed enough wrongdoing to be fired.”

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