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Why was he more and more preoccupied, agitated, heartsick?
Curiously, while drone operators are perhaps the safest of all combat troops physically, they have among the highest rates of depression and post-traumatic stress in the military and national security services. Sitting at a video console in Colorado or New York City, killing someone six thousand miles away and then collecting the kids at gymnastics or football practice, having dinner and sitting down to watch Dancing with the Stars in your suburban den was disorienting beyond belief.
Especially when your fellow soldiers were hunkered down in the desert or getting blown to pieces by IEDs.
All right, Airman, he told himself, as he'd been doing lately, concentrate. You're on a mission. An STO mission.
He scanned the five computer monitors before him. The one in front, black background filled with green lines, boxes and type, was a composite of typical aircraft controls: artificial horizon, airspeed, ground speed, heading, nav-com, GPS, fuel and engine status. Above that was a traditional terrain map, like a Rand McNally. An information monitor--weather, messages and other communications reports--was to the upper left.
Below that was a screen that he could switch from regular to synthetic aperture radar. To the right, at eye level, was a high-definition video view of whatever the camera in the drone was seeing, presently daylight, though night vision was, of course, an option.
The view now was dun-colored desert passing underneath.
Though slowly. Drones are not F-16s.
A separate metal panel, below the monitors, was weapons control. It did not have any fancy screens but was black and functional and scuffed.
In many drone missions around the world, especially combat zones, the crew consists of a pilot and a sensor operator. But at NIOS the UAVs were flown solo. This was Metzger's idea; no one knew exactly what was behind it. Some thought it was to limit the number of people who knew about the STO program and therefore minimize the risk of security leaks.
Shales believed, however, the reason was this: The NIOS director appreciated the emotional toll that these missions took and wanted to subject as few people as possible to the stress of STO killings. Employees had been known to snap. And that could have far-ranging consequences, for them, their families...and for the program too, of course.
Barry Shales scanned the readouts. He hit a button and noted several other lights pop on.
He spoke into the stalk mike, "UAV Three Nine Seven to Texas Center."
Instantly: "Go ahead, Three Nine Seven."
"Weapons systems green."
"Roger."
He sat back and was stung by another thought. Metzger had told him that somebody was "looking into" the Moreno task. He'd asked for details but his boss had smiled dismissively and said it was just a technicality. Everything was being taken care of. He had people taking precautions. He didn't need to worry. Shales wasn't satisfied. Any smile from Metzger aroused suspicion.
Shales himself had felt a burst of the same searing rage that he, that everybody, knew was the NIOS director's nemesis. Who was looking into the matter? The police, Congress, the FBI?
And then, the kicker, Metzger told him that he too should take some precautions.
"Like what?"
"Just remember that it'd be better if there was less...well, 'evidence' is such a stark word. But you get my meaning."
And Shales decided at that moment not to wipe the phone issued to him as Don Bruns. The data--and the emails and texts to and from Metzger--were encrypted, but Shales decided it would be a prudent idea for the evidence not to disappear. He also printed out dozens of documents and smuggled them out of NIOS.
Insurance.
And the fact he'd felt compelled to take those precautions made him think: Hell, maybe it was time to quit this crazy business. Shales was thirty-nine, he had a degree from the Air Force Academy and a postgrad in engineering and poli-sci. He could go anywhere.
Or could he?
With a resume like his?
Besides, the idea of no longer helping defend his country was almost unbearable.
But how do I help my country by accidentally killing a famous journalist and hardworking guard while I'm on a mission to assassinate an unpleasant but innocent loudmouth? What about--
"Texas Center to Three Nine Seven."
Like flipping a switch. Barry Shales was all go. "Three Nine Seven."
