AllFreeNovel
Share Us
But I know all of that is wishful thinking. He’s not interested in building bridges. If he was, he’d be here by now. It hurts, but it’s the truth. I guess I need to get used to the idea that my dad isn’t the man I wished he was.
Will wakes and he immediately senses what’s wrong and pulls me in close, holding me lovingly. I sniffle, unable to stop the tears from falling.
“I’m sorry. I know I should be thinking of all the good things in my life. Last night was so special, and I’m so happy, but I never expected to hit all these amazing milestones without my dad around. And the fact that he could be a part of this if he just made some effort…if he just tried to understand…it hurts me.”
“I know. You deserve better than this. I should go over there and knock some sense into him.”
I shake my head. “It’s no use, he’s so stubborn and stuck in his ways. He’s had time to think it over, to decide to be a bigger person…but he’s just throwing it all away. He’s too proud to ever come back now. I know him, and I know he won’t make the effort now. It’s over. We can’t force him to change.”
Will kisses the top of my head. “I know you’re angry with him and you have every right to be. I’m angry too. But patience is all we need, he might just need a little longer. If I was in his shoes, I might feel the same. And perhaps he thinks he’s fucked it up completely and there’s no coming back from what he did.”
“He might be right.”
“I think you know that’s not true. If he apologized, and I mean really apologized, then I know you’d forgive him in a heartbeat. You’re too good a person to be that cold to him. I know you’ve forgiven him for how he’s treated you in the past. But before you resign yourself to hating him, wait a little longer. Maybe try texting him and letting him know our news, he might come around.”
I know that Will is right. He always is. He always knows exactly what to say. And because he’s told me to, I’m going to give dad one more chance. Just one. If he doesn’t step up soon, though, it’s over for good. I can’t live my life hoping he’ll change, that he’ll do better. Either he does it soon or he doesn’t do it at all. It’s that simple.
Will and I spend a little longer in bed before we get up to start our day. We both have work to complete, but we sit side by side as we do. I feel the pain inside me easing again. Being around Will is the one true cure for everything I’m feeling. He makes everything seem better, even when life is getting me down. It’s crazy to think that this is going to be our lives forever, now. That we get to spend endless days in one another’s company, just breathing one another in.
We don’t even need to talk all the time. Just having him close, knowing he’s here to stay is enough.
But it brings my thoughts back to my dad. Why could he not do the same for me? Why couldn’t he just keep his thoughts to himself and support me unconditionally? If a man I’ve known just over a week can do that for me, then why can’t he? It baffles me that Will has brought so much to my life in such a short amount of time and that he’s committed to making me happy. My own dad can’t manage it, but he can? It’s shocking to me.
The more I think about it, the angrier I feel and the less I feel like trying to fix this thing with my dad. So what if he doesn’t walk me down the aisle? So what if he takes a backseat in my life like he always has? I don’t need that from him when I have so many others in my life to focus on. Will, the person who would do anything for me. Mom, who welcomed my love into her life with open arms because she knew it was important to me. My unborn child, who I already love more than I thought possible. Maybe I’m wrong to be get caught up on my dad and it’s time to let go for good.
I come to the conclusion silently and don’t bother to say it out loud. It feels peaceful to let go. It feels right to stop trying. But when I hear the knock on our front door, my heart jolts. Some part of me is still holding out hope. If he’s here, ready to apologize, then maybe I owe him one last chance. For my own sake, I have to let him back in my heart, even if it hurts me.
