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And I will.
I stand and begin to pace the apartment. Elle is probably concerned about her dad. He’s certainly crossed my mind a few times. He would hate if he knew that we connected today in the way that we did. It’s a good thing he isn’t here. If that’s what’s stopping Elle then I can’t blame her. She doesn’t want to betray his trust.
But for me? I’m willing to do anything to be with her. I’d give up anything in my life just to have her, to be closer to her. If it means wrecking a friendship then so be it. Not because I’m callous or cruel, but because this matters more than anything else. I can live without Steve in my life, but I can’t live without her. Not now that I’ve had a taste of life with her in it.
But it’s different for her. Giving up her father for a man she just met? The idea is ludicrous. He’s been in her life all along and I can never compete with that. But that might not mean she isn’t willing to take risks. Maybe he’d forgive her, in time, for indulging in what she really wants. I saw the look in her eyes when our gazes collided. She’s curious, at least I know that much. Maybe I just need to give her a push to explore like any young woman does, be with an older man, an experienced one. Little does she know that I’ve been saving myself for the one. Her
But if I ever had her in my arms, I’d know exactly what to do. Where to touch her and how. Instincts will show me exactly how to please my woman. I was born to be with her, to please her. And I’m not leaving this earth until I’ve spent at least one night with her. Then I can die a happy man.
I have to try. I have to see whether this is even possible. I stop in my tracks, standing in the center of my apartment. I need to make a bold move. Ask her out to dinner, perhaps. She might turn me down, but I have to try. I can’t live with myself not knowing whether I have a shot.
I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down. I’ve been driven by my desires all day. I need to slow down and figure out if this is acceptable behavior. I don’t want to scare her off. But when I close my eyes and see the way she looked at me earlier, I know that she has unanswered questions about me and her. She might have walked away, but she looked like she didn’t want to.
What has either of us got to lose when we have everything to gain? We both want it. The raw passion was there, I could feel it. Maybe it can be something more. Maybe it can be something lasting. If there’s even a slight chance that me asking her out to dinner will be the start of something incredible, then I can’t pass this up. I need to test the waters, get the ball rolling.
But just as I’m about to leave my apartment, I hear footsteps on the other side of my apartment door. I pause, waiting. Did her dad come home early? Is this a sign for me to back off? To stop daydreaming about something that will never happen? I wait for the sound of his keys, but it doesn't come. Instead, I hear a heavy banging on the door. I clench my fists. Another man, maybe? I let out a growl. No wonder she walked away. If she has someone else in her life, then of course she rejected me.
Did I read this all wrong? Was I just seeing what I wanted to when she looked at me? I feel so frustrated right now that I can hardly think straight. Is there some other guy about to head into the apartment right now, to take what I want more than anything in the world? Is he going to fuck her the way I want to? Is he going to whisper in her ear and tell her the things I have been waiting to tell her?
I feel like I’m about to explode. This isn’t how it’s meant to go. She’s meant to be my woman. Mine. I want to storm over there right now and tear the guy apart. But it isn’t my place. I’ve already taken this too far, let my feelings lead me further than I should. She’s not mine and she never will be.
I have to let her go and accept that. Or can I?
Chapter Five
Elle
When the banging on my door begins, my heart fills with starlight for a moment. After all, no one knows how to find me here other than Will. Normally, I live with my mom in our house a few miles out from here and my stepdad. So if there’s one person visiting me now, this late in the evening, it must be Will.
