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“Brayden has always been a good friend. Probably the best one I’ve ever had. No matter what, he’s been there for me. The only thing he’s ever asked is that I don’t mess with you. Even though I knew better, I did it anyway.”
My throat closes up, making it impossible to suck in full breaths.
“He’d fucking kill me if he ever found out, and you know what? I wouldn’t blame him for it. So, no...this can’t happen. I won’t hurt him any more than I already have.”
The conviction of his words turns his features to granite, making him appear even more resolute than when I stepped into his truck. Unconsciously, I lift my hand to rub at the delicate flesh over my heart. His words feel like a dagger piercing the center of it.
I shouldn’t push out the next question when he’s already given me a definitive answer, but I find myself unable to contain it. “Is there anything I can say that will change your mind?”
An uncomfortable silence ensues, turning the air oppressive.
“No, there isn’t.”
My teeth sink into my lower lip until it becomes painful. I’ll admit part of me is tempted to argue but ultimately, what good will it do?
I can’t force him to be with me if he doesn’t want to.
My fingers wrap around the door handle. “You know what sucks most? That I waited all these years to be with you because I thought, in the end, you’d be worth it. Turns out I was wrong.”
His eyes widen, but he remains stoically silent.
I grab my bag before pulling open the door and slipping from the truck. Once my feet are on the sidewalk, I straighten my clothing and lift my chin before walking to the entrance of Sutton Hall. Not once do I turn to look at him. The tears pricking my eyes slide down my cheeks as I leave Carson where he belongs.
In the past.
Chapter Thirty-One
Carson
God fucking dammit!
I stare after her as she slips inside the brick building and disappears from sight before slamming my palms against the leather steering wheel. A hiss of breath escapes as pain ricochets throughout my hands.
Was I worried that Elle would put up more of a fight and make the situation even more difficult to deal with?
Yup.
It’s a relief that she accepted the outcome and didn’t try to change my mind. I’m not sure how much prodding it would have taken to push me right over the edge. It already feels like I’m walking a tightrope. One wrong move and I’ll plummet to my death. Or straight into her waiting arms, as the case might be.
I keep trying to convince myself that this is what’s best for everyone involved. But, if that’s the case, why is every cell in my body screaming for me to take off after her and beg forgiveness? Already I know the hurt that had filled her dark eyes will haunt me for the rest of my life. Elle is the last person I’d want to inflict pain and yet, that’s exactly what I did.
I drag a hand down my face, wishing there were a way this could end differently.
Now that I know she’s safely inside the building, there’s no reason for me to sit here idling in my truck. I need to leave before I do something stupid. Something I’ll end up regretting in the not-so-distant future. Something that will end up getting my ass kicked by the guy I’ve always considered to be my closest friend. And yet, I can’t shift the gear into drive and pull away from the curb. I can’t do anything other than stare at the last place I saw her before she disappeared from sight.
Start the truck, asshole.
Leave right now.
She’s not even here to wear me down, and I’m crumbling like a cheap house of cards.
A decision has already been made, and I’m wavering. Rethinking everything that was said. Before I can talk myself out of this shit idea, I’m slamming out of the Tahoe and stalking up the walkway that leads to the front entrance. Just as I arrive at the set of glass doors, a couple exits the building. As soon as they walk past, too lost in their conversation to notice me loitering in the vicinity, I spring forward and grab the metal edge with the tips of my fingers before slipping inside and beelining to the stairwell. Maybe by the time I reach her floor, I’ll have miraculously come to my senses. I can turn around before blowing up my friendship with Brayden.
That, unfortunately, doesn’t occur. Not once do I reconsider my actions. By the time I reach her floor, I’m more resolved than ever. The idea of walking away from Elle is unbearable. I can’t do it.
Once at her suite, I rap my knuckles on the thick wood and shift my weight impatiently from one foot to another. Just as I lift my hand to knock again, the door swings open and one of Elle’s roommates fills the space. She stares at me curiously from the other side of the threshold.
