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“Why wouldn’t you say that?”
“Because the phoenix represented the one who was the hardest on me, the one who was the meanest, the leader of the three. It was on his body.”
“Yet it provided an escape.”
“Maybe. It did give me something to focus on. And then, here’s the weird thing. Five years later, when I turned fifteen, my dad got me this awesome horse. Black as midnight and sleek as suede. I named him Phoenix.”
Dr. Carmichael twisted a strand of blond hair. “Really? Why Phoenix?”
“Honestly? I never really thought about it until recently. It just seemed like the name fit.”
“It may well have fit. But there’s another reason you named your horse after an image you detested. And it’s because you didn’t detest it. Not entirely.”
“No, I did.”
“I’m not denying that. Part of you did detest it. It represented hell to you. But it was also your escape. And what better name for a beautiful black horse that could run like the wind, on whose back you could ride and escape?”
Wow. Epiphany. She was right. Deep in the marrow of my bones, I knew she was right, even though… “I just don’t understand it.”
“In time, you will. Trust me. It makes perfect sense.”
“But when I was alone, at night in the dark, the walls seemed to close in on me. Sometimes they talked. I know it was in my mind, but it seemed so real at the time. And sometimes it wasn’t just the walls. It was the phoenix who would talk to me, taunt me.”
“That was the phoenix that represented hell. But the name you gave your horse was the phoenix that represented your escape.”
“I do understand what you’re saying, Doc. It really does make sense. But I don’t understand how it can make sense. How can one image have two opposite meanings for me?”
“Because it had two opposite meanings for you at the time. It’s a fairly common thing.”
I gripped my jaw. “If you say so.”
“It makes perfect sense, Talon. It makes perfect sense that you would name your horse—upon whom you probably rode fast and long and did a lo
t of escaping—after the one thing that allowed you some escape during your time in captivity, even if that thing also meant the opposite to you.”
“I’d prefer it to have no meaning at all for me.”
“I’d prefer that no one had to go through any kind of sorrow or mental illness in life. Of course, that would mean I’m out of business.” She smiled.
I gave her a half smile back. “Touché.”
“So you said Jade was going to get a tattoo, and it happened to be the same image.”
“Yeah. Luckily, she only got the regular ink transfer done, and I told her no way was she going to get a tattoo.”
“How did she react to that?”
“Not good. But that was the least of my concerns at the time. I tracked down the tattoo artist who did the original tattoo. But it’s been twenty-five years, so he couldn’t remember who he had done it on. He did say it was his original design though.”
“But it’s possible that someone else had done the same design or something similar.”
“Yes, it’s possible. But this was done in Snow Creek. And I was abducted in Snow Creek.”
“I see. So you talked to the guy who did the tattoo.”
“Yeah. Like I said, he couldn’t remember. Said he’d been stoned most of those years.”
“Did he keep records?”
