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‘I can’t believe Beth would be so disloyal.’
‘For crying out loud, will you listen to yourself?’ Now he was glaring and she knew she’d pushed him beyond his limit. ‘Your sister loves you very much and she’s concerned about you—what’s so terrible about that? Or is she now condemned to be placed with all the other untouchables that are kept on the perimeter of your life? When are you going to face the fact that you can’t live as an island, Willow? Sooner or later you’re going to have to let someone in.’
‘That’s rich, coming from you,’ she tossed back with equal ferocity. ‘Say as I say and not as I do. Is that your philosophy, Morgan? Because it stinks. If anyone is an island, you are, as you’ve made very plain from day one. No for ever for the great Morgan Wright, but if someone else dares to say the same thing it’s wrong. Now what does that make you?’
‘An emotional child, or at least I was,’ he said, suddenly very calm. ‘Until I met you. Then things changed. I changed. Not easily, I admit. I fought it every step of the way but I finally understood that I could no longer put my feelings and desires into neat, separate compartments any more. I don’t want an affair with you, Willow. Until this very moment I hadn’t realised how much I don’t want that. I love you, not as a passing fancy or a temporary stopgap, but as my woman.’
‘No, no, you don’t.’ She stepped backwards, stumbled but quickly righted herself as his arm reached out to steady her. As it fell back by his side, she said again, ‘You don’t. You said what you felt was physical attraction. You said that.’
‘It is.’ For a long moment he studied her face, his eyes searching hers. ‘But that’s only part of it.’
‘No.’ Panic had gripped her, she felt smothered, unable to breathe. She had done this, forced this thing that had been between them since the night he had stopped himself making love to her, out into the open. Now she couldn’t pretend any more. And she had been pretending, fooling herself, lying. Instinctively she had known from that point on things were different and he hadn’t been playing games. She wanted to believe in his sincerity now, to cast all doubts and fears aside and trust he was speaking the truth, that Morgan was as solid and genuine as Piers had been hollow and shallow, but it was too huge a step of faith to take. ‘No, Morgan.’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Yes. Whether you want to hear it or not, I love you, and it’s about time I told you because something was threatening to give and it was my sanity.’
‘You said we were carrying on as friends.’
‘We were never friends.’ There was brusqueness in his voice along with rawer emotion.
He was right. Friendship was far too tame a label. She tried to speak, failed, then cleared her throat. The air, the dogs, even the birds were still, everything—all nature—seemed suspended. She was conscious of bare-branched trees against the frosty sky and the delicate beauty hurt in view of what she was going to say.
Her throat had locked and she had to swallow hard before she could say, ‘I’m sorry but I don’t love you.’
She saw him flinch and for a moment the temptation to fling herself on him and take it back was strong, but what would be the outcome? Panic won and she stayed where she was, her gaze dropping from his. This had to end now, for good.
‘If this was the movies or a love story I’d do the noble thing and say it doesn’t matter, that we can carry on as we are, that I’ve got enough love for the both of us,’ Morgan said tersely. ‘But it matters like hell and the last weeks have shown me my control can only be tested so far. I guess what I’m saying is that it has to be all or nothing with me, having come this close. Anything else is not an option any more.’
Struggling to match his control, Willow nodded. ‘I—I can understand that.’ It was like that for her too, if he did but know it. The trouble was, she didn’t know if she could trust Morgan—any man—for the all. Raising her eyes, she looked into the ruggedly attractive face. He didn’t deserve a nutcase like her, not after the childhood he’d endured and the knocks life had dished out. She was doing the right thing here.
Knowing she was going to howl like a banshee and make a total fool of herself, she said quickly, ‘I’d better go. Ththanks for everything. I’m sorry it’s turned out this way.’
The blue eyes were boring into her soul. ‘Willow—’
‘It’s for the best. Really, it’s for the best.’ She began to walk, knowing her movements were jerky but unable to do anything about it. She half expected him to walk with her and when he didn’t, she waited for him to call her back. The call didn’t come. She walked on but still it didn’t come.
