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She chuckled. “Actually, no. He didn’t really know what to talk about either. What you’re experiencing is completely normal. So I try to start with something familiar, like your daily life. Usually we end up where we need to be.”
“But you didn’t do that with Talon.”
“Of course I did. I just didn’t start with his daily routine.”
“What did you start with his first time?”
“Last time, you told me you didn’t want to talk about my sessions with Talon.”
True, I had. So why not just answer the question she asked?
“My life is pretty routine. I get up early, around five a.m., meet my foreman and several others in my office and get a look at the day’s work. Sometimes I go out into the pastures myself. Other days I’m stuck doing paperwork all day.”
“So you guys have a pretty big operation.”
“Yes. The most successful ranch in Colorado. We have just under half a million acres, and we employ hundreds, and that’s not counting seasonal work.”
“Then you have a lot of responsibilities.”
“Yeah. I mean, I’m mainly responsible for the ranch, but…”
“But?”
I stiffened.
Melanie continued, “But you feel responsible for everything, don’t you?”
She was right. I did. I was the oldest, after all.
“If you take care of the beef, Talon takes care of the fruit, and Ryan takes care of the wine, what does your sister do?”
“Marjorie is a lot younger than we are. Right now, she just fills in and helps where she’s needed. At some point, she’ll probably decide whether to stay on the ranch and help us or to leave. Her true love is gourmet cooking. But she does own a quarter of the ranch. My father left it to all of us in equal portions, so she’ll always have a cut.”
Melanie nodded. “So tell me, if your siblings own three quarters of the operation, and you’re all adults, why do you feel responsible for everything?”
Why did I? “Because I’m the oldest, I guess.”
“Because you’re the oldest. I see.”
What did she see? I opened my mouth to ask the question, but she began speaking again.
“Jonah, you don’t have to be responsible for everything.”
“Oh, I know. My brothers both do their fair share. They work really hard, and Marj does whatever we ask her to. Whenever there’s extra work to do, she’s right there to lend a hand.”
“Still, you feel responsible.”
She was right. I did. Because I was the oldest. My father had told me that enough. You’re the oldest. You need to take care of things. Take care of your brothers and sister.
I hadn’t done a very good job.
“Tell me about your father,” Melanie said.
Could this woman read my mind? After all, that was her job. Get inside my head. I still wasn’t very comfortable with that.
“What does my father have to do with any of this? He’s been dead for nearly eight years.”
“You got the sense of responsibility from someone. Your father is as good a place as any to start.”
